Hammervision at the Movies

Hammervision is relocating!

2010-03-21T10:59:00.003-05:00

Hammervision is moving up in the world. Julie and I have been invited by the website Chicago Now to start blogging for them. We're keeping the name Hammervision, and are adding a whole lot more features, including television recaps! The new and improved Hammervision should be your daily destination for all things movies, television, and pop culture. The hope is that we get a lot more attention and more people to read the reviews, listen to the MCHammercasts, and more. Heck, we might even start getting paid to do this. My thanks to you loyal readers, and I hope you'll follow me to the new destination:

http://www.chicagonow.com/hammervision

- John

She's Out of My League (***)

2010-03-14T14:26:00.005-05:00

She's Out of My League. 106 mins. R. Directed by Jim Field Smith. Written by Sean Anders & John Morris. Starring Jay Baruchel, Alice Eve, TJ Miller, Mike Vogel, Nate Torrence, and Lindsay Sloane.

Formulaic and semi-funny, She's Out of My League coasts on the charm of its lead actors and proves to be a likeable, breezy comedy. Jay Baruchel (of Undeclared and Tropic Thunder) stars as Kirk, an airport security guard and self-proclaimed "5". After a casual run-in with a "10" hottie named Molly (Alice Eve) at the airport, Kirk soon finds himself dating her, much to the disbelief of his Apatow-lite gang of friends. Can these two opposites stay together? All signs point to yes. The movie has its share of immature gross-out gags (pube shaving, premature ejactulation), but darn it if they're not funny. She's Out of My League was written by the same two guys who did last year's underrated Sex Drive. I gotta admit, I'm a fan of their work. They write antagnostic older brother characters wickedly well, and their movies have a sweetness to them that is remniscent of earlier Farrelly brother works. Nothing revolutionary here, but a fun flick none the less.

- John

Green Zone (**)

2010-03-14T14:24:00.005-05:00

Green Zone. 115 mins. R. Directed by Paul Greengrass. Written by Brian Helgeland. Starring Matt Damon, Greg Kinnear, Amy Ryan, Brendan Gleeson, and Jason Isaacs.

Matt Damon is a fine actor, and his collaborations with Bourne director Paul Greengrass have proved fruitful, but both are barking up the wrong tree with this ludicrous blend of fact and fiction. Damon stars as Jack Bauer, er, I mean Miller, a soldier in Iraq looking for weapons of mass destruction and not finding any. His futile search leads him to uncover vast hypocracy and lies in American government, and ends with lots of run-and-gun shoot outs and characters actually saying, "You shouldn't be here fighting this war." Yuck. Whether you agree with its politics or not, Green Zone just irks when the filmmakers are that unsubtle about their thesis. Greengrass is usually reliable, but the utter ridiculousness of the script (by Brian Helgeland) pokes holes in his handheld shooting style, and the movie looks (and feels) fake. Disappointing.

- John

The Ghost Writer (****)

2010-03-14T14:22:00.004-05:00

The Ghost Writer. 128 mins. PG-13. Directed by Roman Polanski. Written by Robert Harris. Starring Ewan McGregor, Pierce Brosnan, Kim Cattrall, Olivia Williams, and Tom Wilkinson.

You can knock Roman Polanski the person, but you certainly can't knock him as a filmmaker, and The Ghost Writer is just the latest proof why. Ewan McGregor gives his best performance as years as a ghost writer assigned to write the memoirs of a scandal-prone British politician (the very game Pierce Brosnan). Mysteries ensue, and Polanski builds a darkly comic, noirish atmosphere that always manages to entertain and stay one step ahead of its audience. It is a slow, methodical thriller, but certainly not a boring one. The music is great (very remniscent of Hitchcock scores), and so are the twists at the end. Worth seeking out, if you can find it playing at a theater near you.

- John

MCHammerCast: Worst 5 Remakes

2010-03-11T20:47:00.002-06:00

This week on MCHammerCast, Matt and John shake things up a bit, joined by special guest Garry Wills to discuss the WORST 5 remakes. A timely topic to be sure, given Hollywood's obsession with plundering our favorite films of the past to churn out some extra money: Alice in Wonderland, Clash of the Titans, The Karate Kid, Death at a Funeral - all are coming to, or are already at, a theater near you. Get the podcast on iTunes or at www.popculturevultures.com.

- John

Tron Legacy Teaser Trailer

2010-03-09T23:09:00.001-06:00

Hell yes.

Oscar 2010 Afterthoughts

2010-03-09T22:59:00.003-06:00

Okay, so maybe changing my pick from The Hurt Locker to Avatar for Best Picture didn't pan out. I still managed to get 19 out of 24 correct. Not too shabby - I actually did pretty well with the smaller categories this year. It helped that there were no huge surprises, as predicted. I guess the biggest surprise was Precious beating Up in the Air for Best Adapted Screenplay. The Jason Reitman backlash has clearly begun! Not that I agree with it - Up in the Air was a fabulous film, and it is a darn shame that it walked away empty-handed from this year's ceremony. Also mistreated was Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds, which, in the real slight of the night, lost Best Original Screenplay to Mark Boal's The Hurt Locker script. I'm sorry - The Hurt Locker was all about the visuals, not the written word. I call Bullsh*t. Apart from the awards, the show itself ran too long (why cut performances of the Best Song nominees if you're just going to have people dance to snippets of Best Score nominees?), and hosts Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin had a couple of good jokes, but mostly seemed to play it safe. I give the whole thing a "C". Next year - let's move the ceremony up to February and bring back some surprise!

- John

Alice in Wonderland (**1/2)

2010-03-06T11:38:00.003-06:00

Alice in Wonderland. 109 mins. PG. Directed by Tim Burton. Written by Linda Woolverton. Starring Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Crispin Glover, Anne Hathaway, and Mia Wasikowska.

Tim Burton never risks being boring as a filmmaker, and his take on Alice in Wonderland is no exception. Surprisingly though, this Alice is anything but wondrous. For all the creative tinkering and imagination that went into its production design, the end result is a rather drab affair. Like Burton's previous updating of a classic children's tale, Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, Alice in Wonderland is a cold and calculating slice of whimsy that makes you long for prior versions. At least Burton's Alice tries to tell a different story though. Here, Alice is a free-willed 19 year-old (newcomer Mia Wasikowska - a perfect fit for the role) who on the eve of an arranged marriage goes back to Wonderland (or Underland as it's called here - not sure what that's about) having no memory of her earlier visit there, in order to slay the Jabberwock and free the land from the tyrannical rule of the Queen of Hearts (an appropriately over-the-top Helena Bonham Carter). She encounters the regular denizens along the way: the White Rabbit, Tweedledee and Tweedledum, and the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp), among others. Screenwriter Linda Woolverton tries to put a new spin on the classic tale, but it never really gels and ultimately comes off as a sub-par Chronicles of Narnia knock-off by the time the big battle hits near the end. Depp's Mad Hatter is shoehorned into a bunch of scenes unnecessarily, and he's gone to the well so often with his "eccentric" performances that I'm starting to take it for granted. His performance is all make-up and mannerisms. It's not funny or charming or even interesting at this point. Depp needs to do something he can sink his teeth into, and fast. Captain Jack Sparrow may have made him a mint, but it's also spoiled him. I much prefer when Burton and Depp are tackling darker subject matter - Sweeney Todd was brilliant (and so was Depp in it). The 3D in Alice is perfunctory and nothing special. In fact, I much preferred the movie's bookend scenes, set in the real world. At least that seemed like something new for Burton. Alice in Wonderland is not a terrible movie, just an unexceptional one.

- John

MCHammerCast: Top 5 SNL Comedies

2010-03-06T11:30:00.002-06:00

This week on MCHammerCast, Matt and John are joined by guest Michael Mayer to discuss their Top 5 Comedies starring Saturday Night Live Cast Members. Will your favorite make the list? Get it on iTunes or at www.popculturevultures.com and find out!

- John

MCHammerCast: Oscarcast 2010

2010-03-03T22:32:00.003-06:00

There's a special edition of MCHammerCast this week, with Matt and John breaking down each Oscar category and offering views, insights, and opinions on the potential winners, dark horses, and more. We've even added an opening theme song to the podcast - this. just. got. real. Get it now at iTunes and at www.popculturevultures.com, and check back later this week for another episode, where we'll discuss Top 5 Comedies Starring SNL Alumni.

- John

Oscar Predictions 2010

2010-02-28T08:48:00.012-06:00

Going into this year's Academy Awards, it seems that there are sure bets in every category and that this could be one of the least surprising awards ceremonies in quite a while. But this being the Oscars and all, you just know there are going to be some surprises. While the acting categories seem all but locked up by their respective frontrunners at this point, the Best Picture race, ten nominees wide, really comes down to three: The Hurt Locker, Avatar, and Inglourious Basterds. It's going to be a close race, and the Oscar telecast producers are probably glad that category is saved for last so everyone stays tuned in.

In years past, I've averaged about 18 out of 24 correct, and I have no reason to think this year will be any different, but you never know. So, for what it's worth, here are my predictions:

BEST PICTURE: Avatar

The smart money's on Hurt, but I think Inglourious is the dark horse here, and could possibly upset. I'd be very happy if it did. Hurt Locker is great, but overrated. It's sort of the Million Dollar Baby-type of Oscar winner.

3/3/10 update: Now I'm starting to feel the tides turning in Avatar's favor. There could very well be a rare split between Picture and Director this year. I'm sticking with Hurt for now, but am contemplating a last-minute switch to Avatar - stay tuned.

3/5/10 update: It's official - I'm switching to Avatar for Best Picture.

BEST ACTOR: Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart

Bridges was robbed of a nomination for his role as The Dude in The Big Lebowski. This is payback. Not really, but it certainly doesn't hurt his cause that he's never won. Plus, he's really good in Crazy Heart.

BEST ACTRESS: Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side

I think this one would have been closer if The Blind Side hadn't eked out a Best Picture nomination - clearly somebody in the Academy liked that movie.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

Nobody else even comes close. Waltz gave the performance of the year - it's his to lose.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Mo'Nique, Precious

This is a one-woman race, despite some great performances from fellow nominees Anna Kendrick and Vera Farmiga.

BEST DIRECTOR: Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker

No female director has ever one the big prize. Even if The Hurt Locker doesn't win Best Picture, Bigelow's razor-sharp direction will come out on top.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Inglourious Basterds

Quentin's finest script since Pulp Fiction, and that's saying something. Brilliant dialogue. If this doesn't win and Hurt Locker does, I'll be pissed.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: Up in the Air

This is Up in the Air's best shot at winning, and it probably will.

BEST ANIMATED FILM: Up

Up is only the second animated film to be nominated for Best Picture after Beauty and the Beast. This is its consolation prize.

BEST FOREIGN FILM: A Prophet

I haven't seen any of the nominees. The White Ribbon has a known and respected director, and fantastic cinematography, but seems to leave people a little cold. That's not the case with France's A Prophet, which just swept the Cesar awards, and is batting a 95% on rottentomatoes.

BEST DOCUMENTARY: The Cove

Bourne-like suspense coupled with powerful footage and an important message about animal rights should make this one tough to beat.

BEST FILM EDITING: The Hurt Locker

Hurt's quick cut, nerve-jangling build of suspense should win.

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: Avatar

Gorgeous to look at, even if most of it was rendered by a computer

BEST ART DIRECTION: Avatar

Pandora sure was pretty. Many people actually want to live there now.

BEST SCORE: Up

Michael Giacchino's beautiful score has the upper hand due to that early music-only montage in the movie.

BEST SONG: "The Weary Kind", Crazy Heart

A good song featured prominently in the movie, and sung by surefire Oscar-winner Bridges.

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS: Avatar

District 9's effects were scrappier and impressive given the budget, but Avatar's were revolutionary.

BEST COSTUME DESIGN: The Young Victoria

Ornate period pieces usually win this category, so I'm sticking with tradition.

BEST MAKEUP: Star Trek

It's a shame that Trek only gets to win one Oscar tonight, but Eric Bana and his Romulan cohorts were the most showy of these makeup nominees.

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT: The New Tenants

Haven't seen it, but hear it's awesome, and people sound the most passionate about this one.

BEST ANIMATED SHORT: Logorama

Another Wallace and Gromit short from director Nick Park, who's won before.

3/5/10 update: So, after reading a bit more about these nominees, it sounds like Logorama is pretty cool. I'm betting against tradition now, in the hopes that Wallace and Gromit are viewed as kind of "been there, done that."

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT: Music by Prudence

Certainly sounds timely.

3/5/10 update: I've read up on this category a bit more, and it sounds like The Last Truck is timely but a little too sappy. I'm switching to Music by Prudence.

BEST SOUND EDITING: Avatar

Toss-up between this and The Hurt Locker.

BEST SOUND MIXING: The Hurt Locker

I'm splitting the baby on these sound categories in the hopes that I'll get at least one right.

There you have it. Let's check back and see how I do after the ceremony.

Projected Oscar totals:

The Hurt Locker: 3

Avatar: 5

Inglourious Basterds: 2

Up: 2

Crazy Heart: 2

Star Trek: 1

Up in the Air: 1

Precious: 1

The Young Victoria: 1

The Blind Side: 1

The Cove: 1

A Prophet: 1

- John

Cop Out (*1/2)

2010-02-28T08:44:00.004-06:00

Cop Out. 110 mins. R. Directed by Kevin Smith. Written by Robb Cullen & Mark Cullen. Starring Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Rashida Jones, Juan Carlos Hernandez, Kevin Pollak, Adam Brody, and Seann William Scott.

Admittedly, I am a sucker for buddy cop action pics. They don't even have to be good - as long as the casting is inspired, the quips are frequent, and the action is believable, I'll probably enjoy it. Heck, Bad Boys and The Last Boy Scout are two of my favorite movies. When I heard that Kevin Smith was taking on his first work-for-hire directing gig, and that it would be a comedic parody/homage of '80s action comedies - with Bruce Willis starring(!) no less - I was pumped. So, it saddens me to report that Cop Out (or its other title A Couple of Dicks) is a total lemon. Where to begin? Let's start with the screenwriters. They've crafted a story built around a missing baseball card. Yup, that's about all there is conflict-wise. Willis wants to get the card back so he can pay for his daughter's $50,000 wedding. Look, I know that this plot is purposely kept simple and unobtrusive to allow for more comedy, but that assumes that there's actually something, you know, funny. The dialogue here is beyond lame - Morgan and Willis talk endlessly around each other, never saying anything funny and seemingly forced to make dumb oral sex jokes every other minute. Next - the acting. Tracy Morgan is a funny guy in small doses, but he simply cannot act. And when he has to carry scenes on his own and play real emotions, Cop Out fails. Willis? He's just phoning it in and could care less. Last, the direction. Smith has never been a strong visual stylist - his gift lies in the written word, but even in a movie like this, which has only three action scenes, he has no idea how to stage them. The action sucks and the pacing is sloppy. C'mon! These are not hard movies to make! The only saving grace, and the reason I'm giving Cop Out an extra half-star is Seann William Scott. He steals every scene he's in and gives the movie a boost whenever he's on screen, which is not nearly enough. A huge disappointment.

- John

The Crazies (**1/2)

2010-02-28T08:41:00.004-06:00

The Crazies. 101 mins. R. Directed by Breck Eisner. Written by Scott Kosar and Ray Wright. Starring Timothy Olyphant, Radha Mitchell, Joe Anderson, and Danielle Panabaker.

The remake craze continues with this serviceable redo of zombie maestro George Romero's 1973 cult favorite, The Crazies. Boasting snappier pacing and better acting than the original, this new version directed by Sahara's Breck Eisner should satisfy the Friday night crowd, but doesn't make much of a lasting impression. Maybe that's because we've seen so many riffs on this same type of story in the three decades that have passed since Romero's movie was first released. Part viral outbreak thriller and part zombie horror, the 2010 Crazies follows a small-town sheriff in Iowa (Timothy Olyphant), his wife (Pitch Black's Radha Mitchell), and a few hangers-on as they try to escape the clutches of fellow citizens gone unexplainably berserk and the government that's trying to wipe them all out. The movie has a handful of boo! gotcha! scare scenes, nifty visuals, and a killer scene in a car wash (way better than the one in the last Final Destination flick), but the characters are dull and uninteresting. The infected are not portrayed all that inventively either - these crazies just come off like a sub-par 28 Days Later rip-off. In fact, you'd be better off watching (or re-watching) any of these other similar movies: 28 Days Later, 28 Weeks Later, the '04 Dawn of the Dead. Remake aside, there's really nothing here you haven't seen before.

- John

Shutter Island (***)

2010-02-26T22:05:00.001-06:00

Shutter Island. 138 mins. R. Directed by Martin Scorsese. Writen by Laeta Kaligridis. Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley, Michelle Williams, and Max Von Sydow.

The trailers for Shutter Island, Martin Scorsese's latest collaboration with Leonardo DiCaprio, suggest a scary and thrilling mindbender. That's not what you get though. Scorsese is working in Cape Fear mode, paying homage to Hitchcock and other great directors of the genre, but he seems to have ignored the simple (yet important) things like pacing, intensity, and, yes, actual thrills. Shutter Island should keep you mentally on edge and physically on the edge of your seat, but instead it settles for just being weird. It's not even unsettling or all that mysterious. Leo stars as Teddy Daniels, an FBI agent, ferried over to the mental hospitals of Shutter Island, to investigate the disappearance of a patient. Teddy clearly has some problems of his own though, as indicated by flashes to his days as a soldier in World War II and the haunting images he has of his dead wife (Michelle Williams). As Teddy's investigation deepens, his mind unravels, and it all leads to one of those big twists in the end, this one a tad more satisfying than others. Scorsese is having a lot of fun with the concept - always playing visual tricks on the audience (i.e., now you see something, now you don't), but the audience is still always one step ahead of the movie. We know where it's going, because most of the tricks up it's sleeve are telegraphed in advance. The acting is solid. Leo is as dependable as ever, and easily carries the movie on his shoulders. The music is great - big and foreboding, like something out of Kubrick's The Shining. I left Shutter Island wanting to see it again (always a good sign), but it's no masterpiece. It's simply a pretty good film from a brilliant director who is capable of so much more.

- John

MCHammerCast: Top 5 Pixar Films

2010-02-25T23:14:00.000-06:00

This week on MCHammerCast: John and Matt are joined by special guest Jared Heck for a heated discussion on the Top 5 Pixar films. Join the fun by downloading/subscribing on iTunes or at www.popculturevultures.com.

- John

Valentine's Day (*)

2010-02-24T23:23:00.000-06:00

Valentine's Day. 126 mins. PG-13. Directed by Garry Marshall. Written by Katherine Fugate. Starring Everyone.

In the past, I've generally been a big fan of the epic, all-star, multi-character rom-coms like Love, Actually and He's Just Not That Into You, but all the star wattage in the world can't save the DOA cashgrab that is Garry Marshall's Valentine's Day. All props to Marshall for his legendary career in television, and even for Pretty Woman (his only really decent movie), but he is one hack of a director. And if Valentine's Day doesn't make you want to puke all over the holiday that inspired it, well then, you are a stronger person than I. There's not one moment in the movie that doesn't feel forced or derivative or some combination of the two. All of the actors are in their chirpy likeable mode - there's no nuance or dimension to their characters and not one of them plays a believable human being. You know a movie like this is in trouble when Taylor Swift (Taylor Freakin' Swift!!) is the best thing about it. Look, I like Jennifer Garner, Julia Roberts and Anne Hathaway as much as the next guy, and I'm a fan of B. Coop and Topher Grace in these kinds of movies, but Valentine's Day tested my patience from about five minutes in and had me covering my eyes in embarrassment at the level to which many of these highly respected actors stooped for a quick and easy paycheck, with no risk or downside if the movie bombs. Word has it that Marshall and screenwriter Katherine Fugate are lined up to make another all-star holiday rom-com centered around New Year's Eve. That's the bad news. On the plus side though, it can't be any worse than this fiasco. Avoid this one like the plague.

- John

MCHammerCast: Episode 3

2010-02-20T07:04:00.004-06:00

The latest episode of MCHammerCast is now available for download on iTunes. You can also get it at www.popculturevultures.com. This week, Matt and I are joined by guests Joe Newbold and Jared Heck as we discuss Nos. 1-4 of Hammervision's Top 10 films of the decade. We've also started the new format for the podcast, where each week, we'll tackle a top 5 list in a certain genre. This week? Top 5 Sports Movies. Will your favorite be on the list(s)? Spoiler alert: if you love Hoosiers, Rudy, Rocky, The Natural, or, yes, even The Cutting Edge, you're in luck.

- John

The Wolfman (***1/2)

2010-02-13T10:40:00.007-06:00

The Wolfman. 102 mins. R. Directed by Joe Johnston. Written by Andrew Kevin Walker and David Self. Starring Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, Emily Blunt, and Hugo Weaving.

I have to admit, I was not expecting much from this latest remake of the Universal horror classic. Forget about the horror on screen; from the sound of it, the real horror lay behind the scenes, in getting this production off the ground. From release delays, to director switches, to script rewrites, The Wolfman has been plagued by negativity and bad press for a while now, and how nice to finally see the finished product and find that director Joe Johnston and his collaborators actually pull it off. This Wolfman is no classic, but it's a bloody good time at the movies. Despite its period setting, the movie is anything but a stately drag. Benicio Del Toro (who also produced) stars as Lawrence Talbot, an American actor who returns home to attend the funeral of his brother, who's been killed by some mysterious creature. Soon, Lawrence himself is bit by the wolf, and he turns into the Wolfman whenever the moon is full. Emily Blunt is his love interest, Hugo Weaving is the dogged Scotland Yard inspector, and Anthony Hopkins is the father, who is a little too sympathetic to Lawrence's predicament. I have to credit the editors, including the great Walter Murch, who shaped this movie into a working whole, if only just barely. I'm also pleased to give Johnston a pat on the back. I'm a big fan of Johnston's The Rocketeer, and he's having a great time here, honoring the Universal horror classics and paying homage to them, while also shooting the wolf attacks with a rip-roaring, blood-spurting frenzy that is thoroughly modern. The Wolfman design by Rick Baker and transformation special effects are top notch. Those alone are worth the price of admission. And composer Danny Elfman keeps things aurally interesting and exciting throughout. The Wolfman may not be perfect, but it's fun and awfully cool at times, especially whenever the moon is full and the Wolfman is out and about doing his thing.

- John

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (**)

2010-02-13T10:37:00.004-06:00

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. 120 mins. PG. Directed by Chris Columbus. Written by Craig Titley. Starring Logan Lerman, Brandon T. Jackson, Pierce Brosnan, Sean Bean, Kevin McKidd, Steve Coogan, and Uma Thurman.

Percy Jackson wants to be the next Harry Potter so badly it must hurt. Not only is this a franchise wannabe based on a series of popular children's fantasy books, but it's also directed by Chris Columbus, who made the first two Potter flicks. On paper, this seems like a good enough property to inherit the Potter throne. The idea is solid: children of Greek Gods like Zeus and Poseidon getting mixed up in a battle amongst the Gods for control over the world, but all set in present-day America. There's the hero (Percy Jackson), his comic relief protector (a satyr played by Tropic Thunder's Brandon T. Jackson), and the spunky heroine love interest, all training for battle at a woodland summer camp, led by Pierce Brosnan's shaggy centaur, before taking a cross-country road trip to retrieve Zeus' stolen lightning bolt. The supporting cast is solid (Uma Thurman, Sean Bean, and more), the young stars are handsome and engaging, if a tad dull, and there's a lot of nifty fantastical elements (shoes with wings that make you fly? Cool!), but Percy Jackson is ultimately brought down by two things. First, the substandard special effects, which might have looked cutting edge in 1992, but are hopelessly outdated and clunky in the age of Avatar. Second, the story rips off Harry Potter a little too closely for my taste, and lacks any real surprise. The villain reveal is lame, and the main mystery (who stole Zeus' lightning bolt?) is a non-starter. Also, I've never read the books, but I hear the movie takes great liberties with the story and deviates quite a bit, so purists take note. Meanwhile, Mr. Potter can rest easy. Percy Jackson ain't got nothing on him.

- John

MCHammerCast: Episode 2

2010-02-10T22:18:00.002-06:00

The latest episode of MCHammerCast is now available for download on iTunes. You can also get it at www.popculturevultures.com. This week, Matt and I discuss Nos. 5-10 of Hammervision's Top 10 films of the decade, and also get sidetracked with discussions on the next Mission:Impossible and Superman movies, as well as the latest to hit theaters and DVD.

- John

From Paris with Love (**1/2)

2010-02-08T16:27:00.002-06:00

From Paris with Love. 95 mins. R. Directed by Pierre Morel. Written by Adi Hasak. Starring John Travolta, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, and Kasia Smutniak.

The first thing you notice about From Paris with Love, the latest action schlock-fest from the mind of Luc Besson, is the enormous amount of fun John Travolta is having on screen. He hasn't been this enjoyable in, what, a decade now? Not since the era of Get Shorty and Face/Off has Travolta so deliciously connected to a character. Here, he plays Charlie Wax, an obnoxious American spy, who's prone to saying "motherf**ker" a lot and eats (wink, wink) royales with cheese. As with any buddy action movie worth its salt, Wax is paired with a polar opposite - a pencil-pushing embassy stooge played by Jonathan Rhys-Meyers (butchering an American accent). The two are tracking some kind of Asian drug smuggling operation, and threat on an American ambassador's life, though little thought or coherence is given to connecting the dots. It doesn't matter really. The plot is thin and ridiculous, and if you spend even more than a second thinking about it, that's one second too many. Travolta, for his part, does everything he can to jazz the audience, and for a while he succeeds. Director Pierre Morel (of last year's Taken) is a kinetic action filmmaker and juices up the early proceedings with a healthy dose of gratuitous violence and comedy. The best scene in the movie comes when Rhys-Meyers is climbing a flight of stairs and keeps getting waylaid by falling bodies. Sooner or later though, the plot takes over and Travolta is relegated to the background. It's at that point when From Paris with Love starts to lose some of its guilty pleasure status, and just becomes a chore to sit through. Still, it's worth checking out on DVD for Travolta's performance and a handful of decent action sequences.

- John

Dear John (**)

2010-02-08T15:27:00.007-06:00

Dear John. 108 mins. PG-13. Directed by Lasse Hallstrom. Written by Jamie Linden. Starring Channing Tatum, Amanda Seyfried, Scott Porter, Henry Thomas, and Richard Jenkins.

Dear John,

I guess congratulations are in order. After seven weeks atop the box office charts, you were the movie that finally took down Avatar. Years from now, that will be a fun fact remembered by people like me. Everyone else will have forgotten about you, even those teen girls that propelled you to the top in the first place. Maybe one day they'll throw their considerable box office influence behind a movie that's actually, you know, good. I know that you wanted to be like The Notebook (the one Nicholas Sparks adaptation that worked), but you have failed. Maybe you should have never been adapted in the first place. After all, the whole Nicholas Sparks thing - pre-destined lovers pulled away from each other after a week/summer/weekend of romantic bliss by death/alzheimers/military/spouses - has been exhausted. Even the talented likes of Amanda Seyfried and, god bless him, Richard Jenkins, couldn't save you from mediocrity. Oh John, I wanted you to really go for broke and realize your full weepie romantic potential, but, alas, your story never really took hold. Keeping the two lovers apart for at least half of the movie was not a good idea. Neither was having them read cheesy love letters to each other via voiceover while looking at the moon. Also, I know Channing Tatum is hot right now, but I'm not so sure he can act. I'd rather see him Step Up. Oh well. Maybe I should not have gone to see you in the first place. I'm clearly not your target audience. Then again, even your target audience (non-discerning high school gals spending a night out at the mall) probably won't get too much pleasure out of you. Enjoy your brief moment as the king of the box office. It will be short lived, and you'll be relegated to movie trivia footnote sooner than I can finish this letter.

Sincerely,

Hammervision

New Podcast!

2010-02-06T08:40:00.008-06:00

Welcome to the '90s Mr. Banks! Hammervision (aka John) and his buddy Matt Campobasso have put their collective movie-loving minds together and created a podcast to discuss the latest and greatest in film, television, and pop culture. The name: MCHammerCast. Clever, right? Each episode will be available for download on iTunes, and if you subscribe, you'll automatically get a new episode in your iTunes each week. Check out Episode 1, where we discuss my Top 10 list for 2009, as well as the recent crop of Best Picture nominees. Download it now, and listen to it in the car, on your commute, while you work out, or whenever else it's convenient. Hope you enjoy!

MCHammerCast: Episode 1

- John

The Tooth Fairy (*)

2010-02-03T15:31:00.004-06:00

The Tooth Fairy. 102 mins. PG. Directed by Michael Lembeck. Written by Lowell Ganz & Babaloo Mandel. Starring Dwayne Johnson, Ashley Judd, Stephen Merchant, Billy Crystal, and Julie Andrews.

If puns like the one you see on its poster and the idea of The Rock wearing cheap-looking fairy wings makes you giggle, you're going to absolutely love The Tooth Fairy. For the rest of us, whom I suspect is just about everyone, you will want to flee from the theater. That is, of course, if you made the big mistake of going to see this crap in the first place. Me? I reluctantly took my son to see it, having already seen The Squeakquel and having zero desire to see Jackie Chan play a spy next door. And while my son probably could have stayed and watched it a little longer, I couldn't, so I whisked both of us out of the theater after about an hour, vowing never to return to a Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson family flick. Seriously, after The Game Plan and Escape to Witch Mountain, Mr. Johnson has now squandered all of the goodwill he built with the underrated The Rundown. The plot of The Tooth Fairy is idiotic - Johnson plays a petulant hockey player who, after telling a little girl that there is no tooth fairy, is summoned to fairy land, where he has to serve a two-week tour of duty as, you guessed it, a tooth fairy. There are a lot of talented performers here collecting an easy paycheck at the expense of respectability: Julie Andrews, Billy Crystal, Ashley Judd, Stephen Merchant, and Seth McFarlane, among others. Yikes - did they even read the script? In what world is this a good idea for a movie? If this concept is ever going to work - no real shot of that, by the way - there at least has to be a sense of wonder and magic permeating everything. There is nothing magical about The Tooth Fairy. It is a creatively bankrupt movie, presumably greenlit by a bunch of studio execs who have nothing but contempt for the family audience.

- John

Edge of Darkness (**)

2010-02-01T22:21:00.005-06:00

Edge of Darkness. 121 mins. R. Directed by Martin Campbell. Written by William Monahan and Andrew Bovell. Starring Mel Gibson, Danny Houston, Ray Winstone, Jay O. Sanders, and Denis O'Hare.

It's been almost eight years since Mel Gibson headlined a movie, and though, personal controversies aside, he's a welcome presence on screen, and I'm glad to see him back, I'm less than "taken" with this revenge thriller. We've seen this story a million times before, and done much better. Based on a 1980's British miniseries of the same name, Edge of Darkness casts Gibson as a Boston cop out to avenge the brutal murder of his only daughter. His search for her killers reveals a vast corporate conspiracy that reaches into the highest levels of federal government and blah blah blah. Like I said, there's nothing new here. All that would be forgivable though if the movie actually bothered to give us some thrills. What Gibson needed with this comeback vehicle of sorts is a fast-paced ride that satisfies its audience's bloodlust with a lot of expertly executed action scenes. In other words, he needed to do what Liam Neeson did in Taken. Instead, he's stuck in a plodding, poorly paced movie that's content just going through the paces with an occasional, startling bit of violence thrown in to jolt the audience out of its stupor. Much of the blame for that has to lie with director Martin Campbell, who's always been hit (Casino Royale) and miss (Vertical Limit). Despite Gibson's perfect casting and an intriguing performance by Ray Winstone as a shady gun-for-hire, Edge of Darkness commits the cardinal sin of any thriller: it's insufferably boring.

- John

Last Minute Oscar Nomination Predictions

2010-02-01T21:59:00.003-06:00

When the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced they were expanding the Best Picture nominees to a field of ten, I rejoiced. Having made the colossal mistake of leaving The Dark Knight out of last year's Best Pic race, it seems the Academy realized the errors of their ways. It's a win-win for all: more love gets shown on more movies, with bigger box office receipts and telecast ratings sure to follow.

It's been an unusually long Oscar season, with all the other award shows pushing their ceremonies ahead of the nominations. As a result, prognosticators like yours truly have had plenty of time to winnow down the nominees and pick the ten likely recipients.

I'm only going to predict the Best Picture nominees for now. The acting and screenplay nominees seem pointless, since the winners are all but guaranteed to be: Jeff Bridges (actor), Sandra Bullock (actress), Christoph Waltz (supporting actor), Mo'Nique (supporting actress), Inglourious Basterds (original screenplay), and Up in the Air (adapted screenplay). The other categories are just as clear-cut: The Cove (documentary), Up (animated film), The White Ribbon (foreign language film), and Avatar for almost every technical category.

This seems like one of the rare years where Best Picture and Best Director diverge. With her recent win at the DGAs, Kathryn Bigelow is poised to become the first female to win Best Director. But will The Hurt Locker win Best Picture? My guess is no. Avatar will likely take that prize. There's still a lot of time between now and March 7 though. We'll see who has the momentum at that point. And when will the inevitable Avatar backlash begin? I think it already has...

But enough blabbering. Let's get to my predictions for the Best Picture nominees:

DEFINITELY

Avatar

The Hurt Locker

Inglourious Basterds

Up in the Air

Precious

LIKELY

Invictus

An Education

MAYBE

District 9

A Serious Man

So, that's my pick for the 10 nominees. I'd love for Star Trek to get in there, and if it does, I will be ecstatic. Check back again closer to the actual awards ceremony for all my final predictions of the winners.

- John

The Lovely Bones (**)

2010-01-18T15:24:00.004-06:00

The Lovely Bones. 139 mins. PG-13. Directed by Peter Jackson. Written by Fran Walsh, Phillipa Boyens & Peter Jackson. Starring Mark Wahlberg, Rachel Weisz, Saiorse Ronan, Stanley Tucci, Michael Imperioli, and Susan Sarandon.

It pains me to say, but with this misguided adaptation of Alice Sebold's bestselling book The Lovely Bones, Peter Jackson has jumped the shark. Gone is the brilliant director behind the Oscar-winning Lord of the Rings trilogy, and in his place is some unfocused, tech-heavy hack struggling mightily to juggle six different tones at once. It's almost borderline incompetent at times, but then Jackson will pull off a nifty visual trick and remind you why he was so good in the first place. The movie starts off well enough. Set in mid-1970, The Lovely Bones follows our young protagonist, Susie Salmon (Atonement's Saiorse Ronan), as she navigates first love and a frenetic but loving family life before being brutally raped and murdered by the neighborhood creep (a cartoonish, but effective Stanley Tucci). It's at that point that the movie starts losing it. Much has been made of Jackson's unhealthy focus on the afterlife, rendered in glorious yet totally distracting CGI that pretty much kills any narrative progression or audience investment in its tracks. Susie provides a near-constant voiceover from the grave, but the movie never recovers. Mark Wahlberg stumbles around trying to look tortured and anguished - he doesn't come off well. Rachel Weisz as the absentee mom is mostly MIA, and Susan Sarandon also jumps into a few scenes as an absurd old dame, sent to the Salmon house to brighten things up after Susie's death. Jackson tries his hand at juggling multiple tones - one minute the movie's a broad comedy, the next a police procedural, and the next a moody crime thriller. And that's just in the real world segments of the movie - I can't even tell you what kind of tone Jackson was aiming for with all that CGI afterlife rubbish. I kept being reminded of the Robin Williams crapfest What Dreams May Come during those scenes. When The Lovely Bones finally ended after its 2.5 hour running time, I could only shake my head at how far the mighty had fallen. In one fell swoop, Jackson managed to ruin a relatively good book, while tarnishing his stellar directing reputation. What 1941 is to Spielberg, The Lovely Bones is to Jackson. It's another unpleasant reminder that our film idols are only human.

- John

A Single Man (***1/2)

2010-01-18T15:20:00.008-06:00

A Single Man. 99 mins. R. Written and Directed by Tom Ford. Starring Colin Firth, Julianne Moore, Matthew Goode, Ginnifer Goodwin, and Nicholas Hoult.

If there's one word to describe A Single Man, it's stylish. That should come as no surprise given that the movie is directed by fashion designer and former Gucci creative director Tom Ford. This is his first film, and already he's established himself as a confident and capable director. Sure, A Single Man is prone to fits of hazy and artsy pretentiousness, but it's easy to overlook when Colin Firth is so darn good in the lead role. You've never seen him like this, so far removed from the bumbling dork in the Bridget Jones films. It's a truly great performance, and he deserves all the awards recognition he's been getting. The movie tracks the course of a single day in 1962. Firth plays George, an English professor mourning the death of his longtime gay lover, and contemplating suicide. Julianne Moore is also quite good as the neighbor and friend who provides comfort to George, that is, when she's not hopelessly crushing on him. Ford does a really nice job of establishing a melancholy mood, and he often allows the movie (and its characters) the time to breathe. As an audience member, the movie just washes over you, much like George himself, in all those naked under-the-water shots of him scattered throughout. There's nothing revolutionary here - just a finely tuned character study, with an Oscar-worthy performance from Firth, and '60s style (there's that word again!) to burn. Well worth your time, if you can find it playing at a theater near you.

- John

The Book of Eli (**1/2)

2010-01-16T10:25:00.004-06:00

The Book of Eli. 118 mins. R. Directed by the Hughes Brothers. Written by Gary Whitta. Starring Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, Mila Kunis, Ray Winstone, and Michael Gambon.

I'm not quite sure what to make of The Book of Eli, the post-apocalyptic, Bible-thumping bloodbath from co-directing brothers Allen and Albert Hughes. The movie aims to appeal to both the action-loving crowd and Christian moviegoers alike, with one of the most mixed messages I've seen in a movie in quite a while: spread the word of God, but kill every last motherf**ker that gets in your way. Denzel (commanding the screen as always) stars as a loner walkabout named Eli, who's on a mission to deliver the last-known copy of the Bible to an undisclosed location. He wields one helluva blade and sports bad-ass shades, all while walking to the camera in ultra slow motion. He's also quick to kill anybody that gets in his way, which proves to be a lot of people since main baddie (or is he?) Gary Oldman is after the Bible as well and will do anything to get his hands on it. There are some nifty action set pieces in the movie, with the highlight probably coming in the last third when Eli and his companion (Mila Kunis) are holed up in an old cannibal couple's house while Oldman and his cronies fire upon them from outside. In what seems like one continuous take, the camera goes from out of the house to in it and back out again through the bullet holes. Cool stuff. Too bad the movie's so sluggish in between the rousing action scenes. It's nice to have the Hughes Brothers back behind the camera again (they haven't directed a movie since '01's From Hell), but The Book of Eli is a confused and scattershot effort, with one of those twist endings that plays more like "What?!" than "Whoa!" Worth a look on DVD though.

- John

Leap Year (**)

2010-01-12T22:48:00.003-06:00

Leap Year. 97 mins. PG. Directed by Anand Tucker. Written by Deborah Kaplan & Harry Elfont. Starring Amy Adams, Matthew Goode, Adam Scott, and John Lithgow.

Another weekend, another worthless romantic comedy. The genre has taken a beating over the course of the last year, and Leap Year confirms that the trend has continued into 2010. Though it is less insulting to the audience's intellect than other recent rom-coms, it's still painfully predictable and never colors outside the lines. Amy Adams stars as Anna, who impulsively flies to Ireland to propose to her dolt of a boyfriend (Adam Scott) on 2/29, in accordance with Irish tradition. Easier said than done. Beset by travel snafus, and stuck with a rugged local bartender as her ride (Matthew Goode), Anna finds herself questioning which "leap" to make, and which guy to choose. Hmm, I wonder who she chooses. Like most other romantic "comedies," there is very little comedy in Leap Year, which, thankfully, foregoes being crass and obnoxious in favor of a storytelling style that is old-fashioned and modest. Adams and Goode are both likeable performers, but their characters are cliches - hating each other at first, and then liking each other once the ice melts, and then loving each other. Leap Year is not bad per se, but you've seen it all a million times before, so why pay money now? For a movie that strives to live by the maxim, "it's not the destination, but the getting there that's the fun part," Leap Year sure is skimpy on the fun part.

- John

The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus (**)

2010-01-12T22:45:00.003-06:00

The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus. 122 mins. PG-13. Directed by Terry Gilliam. Written by Terry Gilliam and Charles McKeown. Starring Christopher Plummer, Heath Ledger, Verne Troyer, Tom Waits, with Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell.

When Heath Ledger died, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus was almost left incomplete, never to see the light of day. And while I'm glad Terry Gilliam stuck with it, and gave audiences one last chance to see Ledger on screen, I wish he had made a movie more worthy of audiences' time. Gilliam has long been on the decline. He really hasn't made a good film since 12 Monkeys in 1995. Imaginarium does little to change that. Sure, there's Gilliam's trademark visual flights of fancy scattered throughout and there's an absurdity to the drama that remains patently his, but the script for Imaginarium is an impenetrable and confusing mess. It has something to do with the devil (a sly Tom Waits) coming for traveling carnie Dr. Parnassus (Christopher Plummer) and his merry band of freaks, though I'm really not sure. Every once in a while, Gilliam will grab your interest with an inventive visual or with one of the star cameos from Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell, all of whom pitched in to complete Ledger's performance. The rest of the time, you're left twiddling your thumbs wondering why you fell for Gilliam's ruse again (oh, that's right - Ledger). Gilliam may have another great film left in him, but he's going to have to pick better scripts. There's only so long he can coast on Brazil acclaim. As for Ledger? The film world will certainly miss him, but do yourself a favor. Make The Dark Knight your last memory of him and avoid this clunker.

- John

Youth in Revolt (**1/2)

2010-01-12T22:42:00.003-06:00

Youth in Revolt. 90 mins. R. Directed by Miguel Arteta. Written by Gustin Nash. Starring Michael Cera, Portia Doubleday, Jean Smart, Justin Long, Zach Galifianakis, and Ray Liotta.

Surprise! Michael Cera stretches (slightly) as Francois Dillinger, the brash, crude, and ever-so-French imagined alter ego of Nick Twisp (also Cera, not stretching at all). Cera usually lifts up any project with his impeccable comedic timing, and Youth In Revolt is no exception. As directed by The Good Girl's Miguel Arteta, the movie plays like a Wes Anderson movie without the style. Most of the characters deliver their lines in a straight-faced, archly ironic manner, and we're supposed to laugh at their calm in the face of absurdity. What little there is of a plot concerns Nick falling for dream girl Sheeni Saunders, and trying to lose his virginity. That is what leads him to create Francois, but not much happens after he does. There's nothing major going on here, and the movie knows it. To compensate, Arteta casts a ton of familiar funny faces in small, supporting roles: The Hangover's Zach Galifianakis, Steve Buscemi, Fred Willard, and Justin Long, among others. These are all funny people, and Youth in Revolt has its share of laughs, but the plot is wispy and individual scenes feel unconnected to each other, not part of an organic whole. The movie is also prone to using random animation for certain scenes, if for no other reason than to be quirky and hipster cool. Youth in Revolt is a minor comedy, entertaining enough for the January doldrums but easily forgettable after that.

- John

Daybreakers (***)

2010-01-12T22:40:00.003-06:00

Daybreakers. 98 mins. R. Written and Directed by The Spierig Brothers. Starring Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe, Isabel Lucas, and Sam Neill.

Alternately sloppy and smart in equal doses, Daybreakers had the potential to be a classic genre film, but settles for just satisfying B-movie fans. If John Carpenter had directed Children of Men, and vampires were added, it would have looked a lot like this. The year is 2019, and vampires have taken over the planet. Human blood is in short supply, and humans themselves are nearly extinct. Hope arrives when a ragtag group of human survivors (is there any other kind?) team up with a kindly vampire scientist (Ethan Hawke), and attempt to find a cure for vampirism while escaping the clutches of evil corporate goons led by the sinister Sam Neill. This is all well and good, and if the movie had taken its time, and set itself up for a trilogy, it would have been much better. But writer-directors the Spierig Brothers (the gory Undead) have a hard time taking things in moderation, and throw everything they can on the screen. Some of it works (the early set-up of the vampire world is creepy, interesting, and well-defined) and some of it doesn't (Willem Dafoe - hamming up a storm), and the tone veers wildly from serious to silly. Daybreakers tries to be a credible allegory for the oil crisis, but every time a head blows up or the blood gushes in ridiculous doses, you just have to laugh and accept it for what it really is: B-movie fun, nothing more, nothing less.

- John

2010 Movie Release Guide (through August)

2010-01-05T22:20:00.004-06:00

If you're like me, and enjoy planning ahead, here's a trusty little guide to all of 2010's big releases through the end of summer. A few notes: (1) release dates, as always, are subject to change; and (2) I've indicated the must-see flicks in bold.

January 8

Daybreakers

Leap Year

Youth in Revolt

January 15

The Book of Eli

The Lovely Bones

The Spy Next Door

January 22

Extraordinary Measures

Legion

Tooth Fairy

January 29

Edge of Darkness

When in Rome

February 5

Dear John

District 13: Ultimatum

From Paris with Love

Frozen

I Love You Phillip Morris

February 12

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Valentine's Day

The Wolfman

February 19

Shutter Island

February 26

Cop Out

The Crazies

March 5

Alice in Wonderland

Brooklyn's Finest

March 12

Green Zone

Greenberg

Our Family Wedding

Remember Me

She's Out of My League

March 19

The Bounty Hunter

Hot Tub Time Machine

The Runaways

Season of the Witch

March 26

Clash of the Titans

How to Train Your Dragon

April 2

Diary of a Wimpy Kid

Furry Vengeance

The Last Song

Mary, Mother of Christ

Repo Men

Tyler Perry's Why Did I get Married Too?

April 9

Date Night

The Losers

April 16

Babies

The Back-Up Plan

Death at a Funeral

Kick-Ass

Piranha 3D

April 22

Disney Nature's Oceans

April 23

MacGruber

Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps

April 30

A Nightmare on Elm Street

May 7

Iron Man 2

Letters to Juliet

May 14

Robin Hood

Takers

May 21

Shrek Forever After

May 28

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

Sex and the City 2

June 4

Killers

Marmaduke

June 11

The A-Team

Get Him to the Greek

The Karate Kid

June 18

Footloose

Jonah Hex

Toy Story 3

June 25

Grown-Ups

June 30

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

July 2

Knight and Day

The Last Airbender

July 7

Predators

July 9

Despicable Me

July 16

Inception

The Sorcerer's Apprentice

July 23

Dinner for Schmucks

Salt

July 30

Beastly

Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore

Little Fockers

August 6

The Other Guys

Step Up 3D

August 13

Eat, Pray, Love

The Expendables

August 20

The Baster

Priest

- John

It's Complicated (***1/2)

2010-01-01T10:29:00.005-06:00

It's Complicated. 114 mins. R. Written and Directed by Nancy Meyers. Starring Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, Steve Martin, and John Krasinski.

After gouging on all those holiday sweets and stuffing myself with multiple trips to Hollywood behemoths Sherlock Holmes and Avatar, it was awfully nice to just sit down and bask in the company of the three brilliantly funny actors starring in It's Complicated. This is Nancy Meyers' fifth film as writer-director and if you liked Something's Gotta Give (I did), you're definitely going to dig It's Complicated. Meryl Streep continues her hot streak as Jane, a divorced mother of three who strikes up an affair with her remarried ex-husband while at their son's graduation. Her ex is played by Alec Baldwin, in a vanity-free performance that rivals his week-to-week brilliance on 30 Rock. The two of them have great chemistry together. To add icing on the cake, Steve Martin pops up as Jane's architect and potential new suitor. It's a smaller role, but the casting of Martin proves a great idea. For once, and this is a big thing for a romantic comedy, I had no idea who Jane would end up with in the end. Both Martin and Baldwin are immensely likeable, and viewer loyalty to each character is easily twisted. Like Meyers' other films, It's Complicated is not perfect. Her obsession with awesome homes and perfect kitchens/gardens is veering dangerously close to middle-age lifestyle porn, and is on the verge of parodying itself a la the pigeons in a John Woo movie. The comedy runs a little broad at times (particularly with John Krasinski's nervous son-in-law character), and I often felt guilty laughing, but darn it if Baldwin sitting naked in front of a video chat screen with Martin on the other end isn't funny. It's Complicated is ultimately a refreshing tale of love and sex between fiftysomethings that audiences of any age can relate to and enjoy.

- John

Hammervision's 10 Best and Worst Movies of 2009!

2009-12-31T22:03:00.010-06:00

Another year, another Top 10 list. Given work and family obligations, and other social activities, I did fairly well this year, having seen 131 movies. Would I liked to have seen more? Of course. Are there still some I need to see before the Oscars? Yes (An Education, A Single Man, and The Messenger). But the list below represents the ten best moviegoing experiences I had in 2009. So, let's get to it:

10. (500) Days of Summer. In a year of crappy romantic comedies, (500) Days stood out as a breath of fresh air and restored some respectability to the genre.

9. Drag Me to Hell. Unleashed from the big-budget confines of the Spider-Man franchise, Sam Raimi had a blast returning to his Evil Dead roots, and put the fun back in being scared.

8. Up. Pixar does it again, in this, their most emotionally resonant work to date. It will have you bawling in the first ten minutes.

7. Fantastic Mr. Fox. This stop-motion animated wonder reinvigorated Wes Anderson's career and proved effortlessly charming and fitfully funny, all at the same time.

6. I Love You, Man. In a perfect world, Paul Rudd would get recognized with an Oscar nomination for his stellar comedic performance in this hilarious and insightful look at modern male friendships.

5. District 9. Neill Blomkamp made a heck of a first impression on audiences with this wholly original, instant sci-fi classic.

4. Zombieland. Stylishly funny and wickedly demented, Zombieland kicks serious ass and features a truly great A-list star cameo.

3. Up in the Air. A nearly flawless comedic drama, with a brilliant star turn by George Clooney. I'd be shocked if this didn't win Best Picture.

2. Star Trek. Easily the most re-watchable movie of the group (I've already seen it 6 times), J.J. Abrams' smart reboot of the long-running franchise did the unthinkable: it made Star Trek cool.

1. Inglourious Basterds. Quentin Tarantino's best movie since Pulp Fiction is a love letter to cinema disguised as a war flick, and a master class on how to build nerve-racking suspense out of sharp dialogue. Surefire Best Supporting Actor winner Christoph Waltz, as "Jew Hunter" Hans Landa, gives the performance of the year.

Honorable Mention: Anvil! The Story of Anvil; Avatar; State of Play

So that's the best of the year. But for every gift the movie gods giveth, they also taketh away, and here are the 10 worst movies I had the displeasure of suffering through this year.

10. Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Stupid but benign, you might say? True, but when junk like this makes $145 million (!) at the box office, I have to question the sanity of American moviegoers.

9. Did You Hear About the Morgans? Yes, I did hear about them. They suck.

8. Dance Flick. Why some lesser-known Wayans brother was given millions of dollars to make this unfunny "parody" when there are so many other talented, unknown filmmakers out there is beyond me.

7. Inkheart. You can blame the success of Harry Potter for this - yet another adaptation of an uninspired, children's adventure book. An incoherent mess.

6. The Final Destination. Weak 3D effects and a past-its-prime storyline have put the final nail in the coffin of this franchise. Borderline incompetent.

5. Jennifer's Body. Juno's Diablo Cody suffers the very definition of the "sophmore slump" with this witless horror comedy that elicits zero scares and even fewer laughs.

4. Bride Wars. A slap in the face to females everywhere. Gives the term "chick flick" such a bad name that it's almost a crime.

3. Pandorum. Sci-fi fans will find themselves scraping the very bottom of the barrel with this one. The action scenes are incomprehensible, and so is the plot.

2. Halloween II. I cannot believe I paid money to see this as a form of entertainment. Unnecessarily gruesome without any style or purpose.

1. Everybody's Fine. Not so fine? The audience after sitting through this cloying, tidy, and suffocatingly cute/quirky dysfunctional family dramedy.

Thanks for reading this year. See you at the movies in 2010!

And, as a bonus, here's the full rundown of movies seen in '09, ranked in order from best to worst (subject to change upon repeat viewings), with titles purchased and/or to be purchased indicated in bold:

Inglourious Basterds (*****)
Star Trek (*****)
Up in the Air (*****)
Zombieland (****1/2)
District 9 (****1/2)
I Love You, Man (****1/2)
Fantastic Mr. Fox (****)
Up (****)
Drag Me to Hell (****)
(500) Days of Summer (****)
Anvil! The Story of Anvil (****)
State of Play (****)
Avatar (****)
Julie & Julia (****)
The Cove (****)
Sugar (****)
The Hangover (***1/2)
World's Greatest Dad (***1/2)
The Hurt Locker (***1/2)
Taken (***1/2)
Extract (***1/2)
He's Just Not That Into You (***1/2)
Sherlock Holmes (***1/2)
Funny People (***1/2)
Away We Go (***1/2)
Adventureland (***1/2)
By the People: The Election of Barack Obama (***1/2)
The Princess and the Frog (***1/2)
It's Complicated (***1/2)
The Box (***1/2)
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (***1/2)
Bruno (***1/2)
Two Lovers (***1/2)
Last Chance Harvey (***1/2)
The Informant! (***)
Precious (***)
Observe and Report (***)
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (***)
The Road (***)
Paranormal Activity (***)
The International (***)
Moon (***)
The Last House on the Left (***)
The Time Traveler's Wife (***)
Trick 'r Treat (***)
The Soloist (***)
Michael Jackson's This Is It (***)
Crazy Heart (***)
Watchmen (***)
Public Enemies (***)
Duplicity (***)
Terminator Salvation (***)
Brothers (***)
17 Again (***)
Monsters vs. Aliens (***)
9 (***)
Defiance (***)
A Serious Man (***)
Humpday (***)
Sunshine Cleaning (***)
Fast and Furious (***)
Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (***)
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (***)
Sorority Row (***)
Friday the 13th (***)
Management (***)
The Twilight Saga: New Moon (***)
The Great Buck Howard (***)
Where the Wild Things Are (**1/2)
Coraline (**1/2)
Angels & Demons (**1/2)
The Blind Side (**1/2)
Law Abiding Citizen (**1/2)
Couples Retreat (**1/2)
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (**1/2)
Ninja Assassin (**1/2)
Knowing (**1/2)
My Bloody Valentine 3-D (**1/2)
The Invention of Lying (**1/2)
G-Force (**1/2)
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (**1/2)
Fired Up! (**1/2)
2012 (**1/2)
The Taking of Pelham 123 (**1/2)
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (**1/2)
The Uninvited (**1/2)
Surrogates (**1/2)
Invictus (**)
The Brothers Bloom (**)
The Men Who Stare at Goats (**)
The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (**)
Year One (**)
Shorts (**)
Whip It (**)
Tyson (**)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (**)
Fighting (**)
Confessions of a Shopaholic (**)
Land of the Lost (**)
The Ugly Truth (**)
The Pink Panther 2 (**)
Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (**)
12 Rounds (**)
Planet 51 (**)
Race to Witch Mountain (**)
Push (**)
The Unborn (**)
Disney's A Christmas Carol (**)
The Girlfriend Experience (**)
The Haunting in Connecticut (**)
Notorious (**)
Obsessed (*1/2)
Fame (*1/2)
Crank: High Voltage (*1/2)
Fanboys (*1/2)
Orphan (*1/2)
The Proposal (*1/2)
Whatever Works (*1/2)
Nine (*1/2)
I Love You, Beth Cooper (*)
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (*)
Paul Blart: Mall Cop (*)
Did You Hear About the Morgans? (*)
Dance Flick (*)
Inkheart (*)
The Final Destination (*)
Jennifer's Body (*)
Bride Wars (*)
Pandorum (*)
Halloween II (*)
Everybody's Fine (*)

- John

Nine (*1/2)

2009-12-31T14:09:00.003-06:00

Nine. 110 mins. PG-13. Directed by Rob Marshall. Written by Michael Tolkin and Anthony Minghella. Starring Daniel Day-Lewis, Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz, Nicole Kidman, Judi Dench, Kate Hudson, and Sophia Loren.

The new musical Nine boasts an all-star, oft-nominated cast, an Oscar-nominated director (Chicago's Rob Marshall), glitzy production values, and revered source material (Fellini's 8 1/2), and...I couldn't care less about any of it. Trying to recreate the critical and commercial success of Chicago proves too difficult for Marshall and his collaborators, especially when the script is so obtuse and unfocused, and the music so blah and unmemorable. Most directors would kill to work with this cast, but it's rare indeed when actors as distinguished and respectable as Daniel Day-Lewis come off looking this bad. DDL stars as Guido, a film director struggling to come up with a script for his next film that's days away from start of production. His main problem? All the women in his life, from his mom (Sophia Loren) to his childhood fantasy (Fergie) to his wife (Marion Cotillard) to his mistress (Penelope Cruz). Needless to say, Guido gets around. But who in the audience can relate to this guy? And why should we care? The filmmakers clearly don't know the answer, hoping the audience will just get swept away by the fashion, splashy song and dance numbers, and sex appeal of the cast. While that may be true for about ten minutes, Nine runs about two hours long, and it meanders most of the time. I'm sure everyone involved had awards on the mind when they made the movie. If there's any justice in the world, those dreams will be dashed, and Nine will soon be forgotten.

- John

Sherlock Holmes (***1/2)

2009-12-31T14:07:00.004-06:00

Sherlock Holmes. 134 mins. PG-13. Directed by Guy Ritchie. Written by Michael Robert Johnson, Anthony Peckham and Simon Kinberg. Starring Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, Rachel McAdams, Eddie Marsan, and Mark Strong.

Fun and entertaining in equal doses, yet ultimately disposable, this Guy Ritchie-directed reboot of Sherlock Holmes fits the bill nicely for a night out at the movies. Robert Downey Jr. continues his hot streak as the venerable detective Sherlock Holmes. This 2009 Holmes is just as smart as prior incarnations of the character, but Downey adds his typical sense of mischief, sarcasm, and reckless abandon into the mix. His Holmes is also quite a fighter, and kicks an enormous amount of ass in the film - something I'm pretty sure Basil Rathbone never got to do. Downey is matched quite capably by Jude Law as Watson. The duo's back-and-forth, bickering bromance is the heart of the movie. Less effective is the mystery, which is easily solved, with all the major clues delivered in just one scene. One needn't have Sherlock Holmes' brilliant mind to put this puzzle together. Watching the movie, I was reminded of 1998's The Mask of Zorro, another update of a popular character from the first half of the decade. Like Zorro, Sherlock Holmes manages to please its audience without ever really letting them invest in the events unfolding on screen. Holmes is also about 20 minutes too long - another trait shared by The Mask of Zorro. I'm happy to see Guy Ritchie get some mainstream success, after nearly killing off all the goodwill he earned with Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch. And it sounds like this isn't the last we'll see of Downey's Sherlock Holmes. A sequel has already been greenlit, which is good because there's still room to perfect the formula of this new franchise.

- John

Crazy Heart (***)

2009-12-31T14:04:00.005-06:00

Crazy Heart. 110 mins. R. Written and Directed by Scott Cooper. Starring Jeff Bridges, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Robert Duvall, and Colin Farrell.

The boozing, washed-up musician story has been depicted on screen countless number of times before. Crazy Heart is just the latest entry in the sub-genre, and while it doesn't offer anything new, it does give audiences a chance to see Jeff Bridges at his finest. Bridges has received the lion's share of critical accolades and acting kudos for his performance here, and all are well-deserved. Not once does Bridges show off, or overplay things. This is the best role he's been given since The Big Lebowski. He also boasts a fine singing voice, displayed to proud effect in a number of effective musical sequences. The songs are pretty good too - produced by O Brother Where Art Thou's T. Bone Burnett. Bridges plays Bad Blake, who finds redemption (or something like it) in the form of Maggie Gyllenhaal's Jean, a touring music reporter and single mom with a generically precocious kid. Their relationship and Bad's destructive tendencies comprise the bulk of the plot. Colin Farrell also pops up in a few scenes as Bad's protege, and, surprisingly, he has a great singing voice as well. Crazy Heart is a small, modest film, that plays all the right chords but, aside from Bridges, never really goes out of its way to make a distinct impression. It's content just being a good film, not a great one, but is worth seeing for the performances alone.

- John

Up in the Air (*****)

2009-12-27T15:59:00.005-06:00

Up in the Air. 109 mins. R. Directed by Jason Reitman. Written by Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner. Starring George Clooney, Vera Farmiga, Anna Kendrick, and Jason Bateman.

Up in the Air is as good a comedic drama as you're likely to see this or any other year. It comes darn near close to perfection, and I'll be very surprised if it doesn't win Best Picture in February. This marks director and co-writer Jason Reitman's third movie, after the well-received Juno and Thank You for Smoking, and it's amazing how mature and confident he has become behind the camera in that short time. George Clooney stars as Ryan Bingham, a frequent flier who travels around the country firing people for a living. He lives out of a suitcase, has no real connections and no home life, and absolutely loves it. Ryan's isolation is tested though when he's partnered up with a young, type-A associate (Anna Kendrick, great in Rocket Science, and even better here), and enters into a romantic relationship with the female equivalent of himself (the wonderful Vera Farmiga). This is a role tailor-made for Clooney and he delivers the goods, and then some. Clooney has never been better or more magnetic on screen, and watching him, I was reminded of Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire. Put the right actor in the right role and give them material to run with, and the result is magical. Up in the Air works as a drama, but it's also frequently funny. The comedy comes not from absurd humor, jokes, or physical gags, like most other comedies these days, but from smartly-crafted dialogue, flawlessly delivered by great actors. Small-scale films made for adults have had a rough year (see State of Play or Duplicity - nobody else did), and with the all-consuming rise of the franchise blockbuster, they're in danger of becoming instinct. Don't let them. Up in the Air flies high above the competition, and proves that, when done well, these kinds of movies prove deeply satisfying in ways no soulless blockbuster can even touch.

- John

Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (**)

2009-12-27T15:55:00.006-06:00

Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. 88 mins. PG. Directed by Betty Thomas. Written by Jon Vitti & Jonathan Aibel. Starring Justin Long, Zachary Levi, David Cross, and the voices of Justin Long, Amy Poehler, Christina Applegate, and Anna Faris.

There's really not much you can say about Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. The first Alvin was an unfunny, chaotic nuisance of a movie, but kids loved it (to the tune of $217 million), so a sequel was inevitable. Part 2 is slightly better, if only for its introduction of the Chipettes. The plot is basically recycled from the first film, with the Chipmunks going to high school, and the Chipettes going the famous singing chipmunk route. There are multiple singing competitions along the way, none of which seem to have any impact on anything. There are a handful of pop culture gags for adults strewn throughout the movie, but those feel more obligatory than clever. Jason Lee (playing Dave Seville) wisely spends most of the movie laid up in a hospital bed, while cousin Toby Seville (Chuck's Zachary Levi) takes care of the chipmunks. What still amazes me about these Chipmunk movies is the fact that good money was spent on hiring well-known comedic actors such as Justin Long, Amy Poehler, Christina Applegate, and Anna Faris to voice the chipmunks. Why?! Once the voices are turned up that high, the actor is unrecognizable. What a waste of money. Clearly though, Fox isn't worried. Kids are still going to love this Squeakquel, and a third movie is all but certain. You've been warned.

- John

Did You Hear About the Morgans? (*)

2009-12-23T21:00:00.003-06:00

Did You Hear About the Morgans? 103 mins. PG-13. Written and Directed by Marc Lawrence. Starring Hugh Grant, Sarah Jessica Parker, Mary Steenburgen, and Sam Elliott.

Romantic comedies have had a rough year. After suffering through such duds as Bride Wars, The Ugly Truth, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, and The Proposal, the last thing audiences need at this time is a movie like Did You Hear About the Morgans? Writer-director Marc Lawrence has never been a great writer-director, but you certainly can't fault him for such simple, audience friendly movies like his past hits Miss Congeniality and Music & Lyrics. Uninspired casting and a flat script can only get you so far though, and Lawrence certainly tests the limits of that notion with Did You Hear About the Morgans? Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker play a bickering married couple who witness a murder and then are shipped out to Nebraska to hide in a witness protection program. Like true fish out of water, the two city folk have trouble adapting to their country environment. Can they save their marriage before the killer tracks them down? Hugh Grant is normally the best part of any movie but he's left stranded here. The script is lazy and formulaic, and lacks anything close to resembling a laugh. The romance element of the movie is half-hearted and tacked on as if an afterthought. There's no chemistry between the two leads, and even less suspense. If you have had the (dis)pleasure of hearing about the Morgans, then surely you've heard this: they suck, and so does their movie.

-John

The Road (***)

2009-12-23T20:58:00.009-06:00

The Road. 119 mins. R. Directed by John Hillcoat. Written by Joe Penhall. Starring Viggo Mortensen, Robert Duvall, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Guy Pearce, and Charlize Theron.

Having never read Cormac McCarthy's The Road, I was not sure what to expect of the film adaptation. The previews suggested a suspenseful thrill ride, but I knew that the final product would be more artful and meditative. Turns out, it's a little bit of both. As directed by John Hillcoat, The Road is a nearly great movie, full of haunting imagery (the amputees in the basement will not soon be forgotten), intense escape scenes, and a hovering sense of dread and menace. The characters in The Road could fall victim to cannibalistic hunters at any moment, and the audience feels that urgency and hopelessness at every turn. Viggo Mortensen is fantastic as the nameless father shepherding his son to survival in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. While not much happens in the way of plot, the movie often proves riveting and keeps its hooks in you. But around the time Robert Duvall shows up as a blind codger, The Road starts to lose its footing and peters out to a generally unsatisfying finale. In fact, given how dark and depressing the movie is for 2/3rds of its running time, and I mean that in a good way, the ending is almost too happy and hopeful. I won't spoil what happens, but in a movie where Viggo is prepared to kill his son in a moment's notice, you're prepared for the worst and that's not what you get. I wanted to come out of The Road emotionally devastated, not mildly satisfied by a movie that is great in parts but not as a whole.

- John

Avatar (****)

2009-12-21T23:01:00.005-06:00

Avatar. 163 mins. PG-13. Written and Directed by James Cameron. Starring Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Joel David Moore, Stephen Lang, and Sigourney Weaver.

You've got to hand it to James Cameron. In the age of On Demand, Netflix, Hulu, high-def televisions, Blu-Ray, and iTunes, Cameron is still making movies that demand to be seen on the big screen. Avatar is his first narrative feature since 1997's Titanic. He's been gone a while, and expectations were high for Avatar, especially given all the hype surrounding the groundbreaking special effects and 3D technology. If judged only on those merits, Avatar is outstanding. There are huge segments of the movie that are completely CGI and not once do you think that you're watching an animated movie. The camera movement, the performance capture of the actors, and the environments are all rendered with a breathtaking realism. Almost $300 million was spent making Avatar, and it all shows on screen. Cameron certainly gives audiences their money's worth. If there's a flaw with Avatar, it's in the story. Derivative and overfamiliar, it basically takes the plot structure of Dances with Wolves and adds a heavy dose of science fiction/fantasy. Terminator Salvation's Sam Worthington plays Jake Sully, a paraplegic marine who steps in for his deceased brother to inhabit the replicant of a bright blue, native species known as the Na'vi on the planet Pandora. His mission to infiltrate and investigate the Na'vi is soon thwarted as he develops a romantic relationship with one of the natives (Zoe Saldana) and starts to question the military tactics of his commanders. It all leads to a big showdown between humans and Na'vi, with the outcome easily predictable. But while the story may lack surprise, it doesn't hamper one's enjoyment of the movie. The visual elements of Avatar (production design, sound, visual effects, costume/character design, acting) are so strong that they overwhelm everything else. Cameron may not be the greatest storyteller, but he is a smart one, and he stages action scenes better than almost anybody else working today. Avatar is designed to appeal to everyone, and it will. It's a mass market blockbuster, pulled off with heart and brains, and you'd be foolish not to pay money to see this one in the theater. For better or worse, true EVENT movies are few and far between these days. It's nice to know that at least one filmmaker out there is still trying to make them.

- John

Invictus (**)

2009-12-16T22:28:00.006-06:00

Invictus. 130 mins. PG-13. Directed by Clint Eastwood. Written by Anthony Peckham. Starring Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon.

When one hears that Morgan Freeman is going to be playing Nelson Mandela in a movie directed by Clint Eastwood, two things come to mind: (1) the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences just got a bit stiff in the pants; and (2) that movie should be pretty good. Based on those expectations, Invictus is nothing more than a well-intentioned, competently filmed mediocrity. Of all the stories to tell about Mandela, Invictus opts for a true, but hackneyed and seen-it-all-before underdog sports story about the South African rugby team that united a country torn apart. Eastwood keeps things pretty mellow and quiet for most of the movie. In fact, the movie is so quiet that you sense a lack of energy. The musical score is very spare too, featuring Eastwood's obligatory and oh-so-dull piano plunking. Man, I hate Eastwood scores. All that quiet fades away in the last half hour, however, when the big rugby match unfolds and Eastwood, a solid actor's director but not all that great with visual effects, cranks up the fake crowd cheering and repeatedly cuts to the same swooping CGI crowd shot. Perhaps the movie would be more exciting if Eastwood and company actually cared to delve into the intricacies of rugby, and present it in a user-friendly manner for those not familiar with the sport. I couldn't tell you a thing about rugby after watching Invictus, and that really dampens any enthusiasm or investment that audience members can have in the final match. Both Freeman and Matt Damon, as the captain of the rugby team, are in fine form, but, as written, there's not all that much to the characters they're playing, and barely any backstory thrown their way. Neither actor is challenged, and apart from the accents, which I'm sure they worked hard on, both Freeman and Damon could play these characters in their sleep. And don't even bother with the supporting characters - none of whom make any impact. Invictus is a noble failure. If you're looking for a movie dealing with Apartheid issues, do yourself a favor and go see District 9 instead.

- John

The Princess and the Frog (***1/2)

2009-12-15T22:55:00.004-06:00

The Princess and the Frog. Written and Directed by Ron Clements & John Musker. Starring the voices of Anika Noni Rose, Bruno Campos, Keith David, Terrence Howard, John Goodman, and Oprah Winfrey.

Disney's The Princess and the Frog is a refreshing and modest 2-D, hand-drawn animated movie that brings back some welcome nostalgia for early '90s classics like Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin. It's not quite a return to form, and Pixar's movies still have this one beat, but The Princess and the Frog does have a certain charm to it. Spinning the classic fairy tale on its head, the movie tells the story of Tiana, a strong-willed, hard-working gal in 1930s New Orleans with dreams of owning her own restaurant. When Prince Naveen comes to town and is turned into a frog by the sinister voodoo doctor Facilier, Tiana kisses Naveen to try and turn him back to a prince, but ends up turning into a frog herself. Animal sidekicks are soon introduced (a trumpet-playing alligator and cajun firefly), and life lessons are learned. There are several pleasant, if not quite memorable songs by go-to tunesmith Randy Newman sprinkled throughout, and it's in these segments that the animators really let their imagination run wild - creating some truly delicious eye candy. I especially liked all of the scenes with Facilier and his otherworldly cohorts, where the animation is striking and original, and frankly a little frightening for some of the younger kids. Perhaps most notable about The Princess and the Frog is the fact that it features Disney's first African-American heroine (and about time too). The depiction of 1930s New Orleans, clearly still in its glory days back then, is something new in animated movies and serves as a perfect backdrop for this story. I've read that Disney plans on releasing a hand-drawn animated film every two years in the future. If they're as enjoyable as The Princess and the Frog, that can only be a good thing.

- John

Hammervision's 10 Best of the Decade: No. 1

2009-12-14T22:19:00.009-06:00

CHILDREN OF MEN (2006)

On December 31, 2006, I saw Children of Men in the theater and, having been blown away, instantly declared it the best movie of 2006. Three years later, and after several more viewings, I can confidently say it is the best movie of the decade. The filmmaking in Children of Men is revolutionary and jaw-dropping, and stands head and shoulders above everything else. It is the defining movie of the decade not because of story (tight and spare), or acting (excellent, but nothing Oscar-worthy), but because it pushes the film medium in new and exciting directions. You know how people always talk about Citizen Kane as the greatest movie of all time? It's because of the direction and cinematography. Children of Men is to this decade what Citizen Kane was to the 1940s. Directed by Alfonso Cuaron with focused energy and clarity of vision, and featuring a handful of the most intricately staged, uninterrupted one-take action sequences ever filmed, the movie is a marvel. It has a fantastic and bleak sci-fi premise (the human race is on the verge of extinction because nobody can get pregnant anymore) that proves fertile ground for an exciting chase movie, with interesting themes and haunting imagery. There is a great and shocking death of a main character early on in the movie that's the best thing of its ilk since Samuel L. Jackson bought it in Deep Blue Sea (and before that, Janet Leigh in Psycho), and really keeps you on edge for the remainder of the movie's running time. Children of Men is pitch black in its depiction of society on the edge of despair, but it does offer a glimmer of hope in its story and is oddly satisfying. That satisfaction does not come from a "feel good" ending, which, here, is purposely kept ambiguous, but from the knowledge that you've just seen one of the greatest movies of this or any other decade.

So there you have it:

10. Mission: Impossible III

9. The Royal Tenenbaums

8. United 93

7. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

6. There Will Be Blood

5. Memento

4. Wall-E

3. The Lord of the Rings trilogy

2. Moulin Rouge

1. Children of Men

Many of you guessed No. 1 correctly. Good job. Now it's your turn. What's your Top 10 of the decade? What one movie above (you can only pick one) has no place on a Top 10 list? What's the one movie you wish I had included? Where do we go from here - what do you want to see next? Worst of the decade? Best of the 90s?

And now a special shout-out to the runner-ups. These movies came awfully close to cracking the Top 10, and are equally deserving of end-of-the-decade recognition:

The Dark Knight

Gladiator

The 40 Year-Old Virgin

Minority Report

Catch Me If You Can

Inglourious Basterds

Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2

Traffic

The Incredibles

The Departed

- John

Hammervision's 10 Best of the Decade: No. 2

2009-12-09T22:38:00.008-06:00

MOULIN ROUGE (2001)

At one point in Moulin Rouge, the characters break into a song called "Spectacular, Spectacular" - fine words to describe Baz Luhrman's ballsy, bombastic, and brilliant revival of the movie musical. An even better word? Passion. Moulin Rouge is as passionate as movies get: about love, life, music, dance, art, theater, you name it. I don't know if it's possible to fall head over heels in love with a movie, but that's exactly how I felt watching Moulin Rouge for the first time. This is not a movie for the skeptical and jaded. Yes, the first 20 minutes are in-your-face and a bit screwy, but for those who stick around, there are rich rewards to be had. By the time Ewan McGregor starts singing "Your Song," the movie achieves liftoff and never really comes back down to earth. McGregor and Nicole Kidman as the doomed lovers are note-perfect, both in song and on screen, and the movie depicts their relationship in a gloriously romantic manner. One of the reasons Moulin Rouge works so well as a musical is that when the characters break into song (all memorable pop songs of the last 20 years), the audience shares in their singing because we all know those songs, and have probably at one point even sung them ourselves. But beyond the base emotional connection the movie forges with its audience through song, the technical elements are just as important. The costumes and production design are splendid eye candy, and, good god, is there a more beautiful moment from the past decade than when, at the end of their Elephant Love Medley, just as McGregor starts singing "I Will Always Love You", that big ball of stars explodes behind the singing lovebirds? Sends goosebumps down my arms every time I see it. To know Moulin Rouge is to love it.

Here's the running list:

10. Mission: Impossible III

9. The Royal Tenenbaums

8. United 93

7. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

6. There Will Be Blood

5. Memento

4. Wall-E

3. The Lord of the Rings trilogy

2. Moulin Rouge

We're almost there! Agree? Disagree? Did you expect to see Moulin Rouge place No. 2? Post your thoughts below, and come back early next week for No. 1, as all will be revealed. I'll also be posting the runner-ups and some afterthoughts next week as well.

- John

Brothers (***)

2009-12-08T22:29:00.004-06:00

Brothers. 110 mins. R. Directed by Jim Sheridan. Written by David Benioff. Starring Tobey Maguire, Natalie Portman, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Sam Shepard.

This remake of a 2004 Danish film of the same name is not quite the movie I thought (or hoped) it would be. I went into Brothers expecting a juicy relationship drama with high stakes that ends tragically a la House of Sand and Fog. The previews certainly sold that concept, focusing less on the Iraq War that is central to the movie's plot, and more on the sparks that fly between Natalie Portman and Jake Gyllenhaal while Portman's hubby (Tobey Maguire) is away and presumed dead. What we get instead is yet another in a long line of war movies where the main character is so tragically haunted by what he's seen and experienced overseas that he can't ease back into life as he once knew it. Here, Maguire plays that man, and though he's gotten the lion's share of acclaim from critics so far, I actually wasn't too taken by Maguire's performance. He barely registers in the movie's early scenes at home, and he's not entirely convincing as a POW survivor, despite some late inning histrionics and lots of bug-eyed acting. Much more effective is Natalie Portman, in a restrained yet highly emotional role, and Jake Gyllenhaal, who really seems to have shed the soft-talking, shy guy sheen he once imbued in all of his characters. I give credit to the casting director(s) for putting Maguire and Gyllenhaal together on screen as brothers. Not too long ago, they were widely regarded as the same type of performer, so much so that at one point during Spider-Man 2, Gyllenhaal almost replaced Maguire - proof positive of their interchangeability. A lot has changed since then though. While Maguire hasn't really grown much as an actor, Gyllenhaal certainly has, and he gives a very believable and mature performance in Brothers. When he and Portman are on screen, the movie clicks despite its overfamiliar subject matter and lack of sexual drama.

- John

Hammervision's 10 Best of the Decade: No. 3

2009-12-07T22:09:00.005-06:00

The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-03)

3 movies. 1 slot. A bit of a cheat you might say. True, but who really wants to argue against it? And who honestly thinks they can win that argument? I guess if you're going to have to pick one, you'd have to go with the Oscar-winning third installment, Return of the King, but I'm not going to do that. Peter Jackson and company always intended for these movies to be one organic whole, filming all three at the same time. Jackson aimed for the fences with The Lord of the Rings, adapting one of the most beloved (and bedeviling) pieces of literature of all time. It was no easy task, but in many ways - he did what most movies never do: improved upon the books, streamlining the narrative, accentuating the action, and doing it all with visual sweep and style to spare. The Lord of the Rings trilogy is the gold standard of film adaptations. It was a huge risk for Jackson and New Line, and if Fellowship of the Ring had tanked, it would have ended a lot of careers. But The Lord of the Rings transcended all expectations, and can now be viewed for what it really is: a monumental achievement in filmmaking. Many complained about the dozen different endings in Return of the King, but by then, the movie had earned the right to bask in its own glory. If you've never caught the extended editions on DVD, which add about 40 minutes to each movie, you're really missing out. Sitting down for 12 hours to watch all three is one of the great pleasures you'll have in this life.

Here's the running list:

10. Mission: Impossible III

9. The Royal Tenenbaums

8. United 93

7. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

6. There Will Be Blood

5. Memento

4. Wall-E

3. The Lord of the Rings trilogy

Agree? Disagree? Think I'm cheating by putting three movies in one slot? Have you already figured out Nos. 1 and 2? Post your thoughts below, and come back soon for No. 2, as the countdown nearly finishes.

- John

Everybody's Fine (*)

2009-12-06T22:27:00.011-06:00

Everybody's Fine. 95 mins. PG-13. Written and Directed by Kirk Jones. Starring Robert DeNiro, Drew Barrymore, Sam Rockwell, and Kate Beckinsale.

The big drama that plays out in Everybody's Fine is that everybody is, in fact, not fine. Also not doing so fine? The audience members who have to sit through this atrocious, certifiably fake and corny schmaltz-fest starring a bunch of well-known and talented A-list stars, who clearly ought to know better. It's like the world's worst Lifetime movie-of-the-week, but made even worse by the fact that the filmmakers want to charge you $10 to see it. DeNiro gives a low-key, mannered performance as Frank, a recent widower who goes to visit his four kids when they all cancel on coming to see him. With each visit, Frank learns that his children have been lying to him to make things sound okay when they're really not. One's getting divorced (Beckinsale). One's not a conductor (Rockwell). One's a lesbian with a baby (Barrymore). And, oh yeah, one's a druggie on the run in Mexico who ends up dead (the one who's not on the poster). Speaking of the poster and promotional materials for the movie, don't be fooled. This is not a dysfunctional family holiday comedy in the vein of The Family Stone or something like that. It's a sappy, low-budget drama with zero emotional truth to it. DeNiro is good and better than he has been in years, but he's wasted here. There are so many contrivances in both the script and the direction, and almost nothing in the movie is pulled off successfully. Frank has the unfortunate habit of seeing his grown kids appear (and converse with him) as actual children at times. This may have seemed like a cute idea on paper, but on screen, it just comes across as lame. You know a movie's not working when, during the big dramatic flourishes at the end, you find yourself laughing at the movie (not with it). Avoid this one at all costs.

- John

Hammervision's 10 Best of the Decade: No. 4

2009-12-02T22:10:00.006-06:00

Wall-E (2008)

No "Best Of" list would be complete without recognizing the tremendous impact that Pixar has had on film in this decade. In fact, since the first Toy Story in 1995, Pixar has been setting the bar for animated movies (and film in general) higher and higher, and just when you think they can't top themselves, they go ahead and do it. For my money, Wall-E is their crowning achievement. It is heartfelt and original, at times exciting and funny, and it never loses sight of character and story in the face of some genuinely amazing visuals. The character of Wall-E is one for the ages - an instantly lovable robot and romantic at heart with a soft spot for old school Hello Dolly tunes. Writer and Director Andrew Stanton plays by his own rules here - the movie is quirky and courageous, with a nearly wordless first 40 minutes that are just riveting. The sound design is particularly awesome (say it with me now: "Waaal-Eeee"), and if you've got a Blu-Ray player at home, the movie looks absolutely gorgeous in high-def. Wall-E may be darn near impossible for Pixar to top, but I can't wait for them to try.

Here's the running list:

10. Mission: Impossible III

9. The Royal Tenenbaums

8. United 93

7. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

6. There Will Be Blood

5. Memento

4. Wall-E

We're getting serious now. Agree? Disagree? Post your thoughts below, and come back soon for No. 3, as the countdown continues.

- John

The Blind Side (**1/2)

2009-12-01T22:45:00.000-06:00

The Blind Side. 124 mins. PG-13. Written and Directed by John Lee Hancock. Starring Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw, Quinton Aaron, and Kathy Bates.

Fans of treacly sports dramas are in for a real "treat" with The Blind Side. It's a veritable minefield of cliches and sap, aimed straight at the heart of unassuming moviegoers who want a "feel good" flick that goes down like a spoonful of sugar. The movie has been a surprise hit at the box office, and I have no doubt that millions of moms everywhere are going to love it. The story of Michael Oher, an undereducated, homeless and dirt-poor high schooler who went on to be drafted by the Baltimore Ravens, is certainly one worth telling. But writer-director John Lee Hancock (The Rookie, The Alamo) falls for all the usual traps associated with this type of movie. There's the cutesy 10 year-old kid who spouts wisecracks the entire time. There's the training montage, where Oher learns how to play football. There are truly stupid lines of dialogue - the most egregious being the one in the preview: "You're changing that boy's life." "No, he's changing mine." That last line is spoken by Sandra Bullock, playing Erin Brockovich. Oops - excuse me, I mean Leigh Anne Tuohy, Oher's adoptive mother and NRA-carrying, Republican spitfire of an overprivileged Southern belle. Bullock is good and no-nonsense, and every once in a while, she's given a scene that rings true and sincere, especially the one where Leigh Anne visits Oher's biological mother. But for every one of those scenes, there's another just around the corner that registers as fake and insincere. I'm pretty sure the tough gangster in Oher's old neighborhood wouldn't threaten him with the line, "I'm gonna pop a cap in your ass." Still, The Blind Side is an easy movie to watch and, for better or worse, it delivers exactly what its previews promise.

- John

Fantastic Mr. Fox (****)

2009-12-01T22:43:00.001-06:00

Fantastic Mr. Fox. 87 mins. PG. Directed by Wes Anderson. Written by Wes Anderson & Noah Baumbach. Starring the voices of George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray, Owen Wilson, and Willem Dafoe.

Welcome back, Wes Anderson! Who would have guessed that stop-motion animation would have been the perfect fit for Anderson's one-of-a-kind artistic and comedic sensibilities? Fantastic Mr. Fox is, as its title implies, quite fantastic indeed. Based on the book by Roald Dahl, and adapted for the screen by Anderson and Noah Baumbach (The Squid and the Whale), the movie is a nimble, quick-witted visual marvel. The voice cast is top notch, with George Clooney in full-on Danny Ocean mode as Mr. Fox, a devious chicken thief coming out of retirement, who sets his sights on three local farmers. Also great is Jason Schwartzman, stealing every scene he's in as Ash, Fox's outcast, eccentric son. Anderson loads the movie with clever gags, hilarious throwaway lines (love the use of "Cussin" in place of actual swear words), and his patented quirky cool production design. The stop-motion animators' work is a joy to behold and endlessly interesting to watch. Equally charming and funny, Fantastic Mr. Fox is one of the best of the year. Kids should take to it, and adults will find themselves equally smitten, if not more so.

- John

Hammervision's 10 Best of the Decade: No. 5

2009-11-30T23:38:00.000-06:00

MEMENTO (2000)

I was torn with this one. I really wanted to put Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight on this "Best Of" list, and if you told me I'm crazy for not including it, I certainly wouldn't argue. But one thing's for sure - there's no denying the staggering ingenuity of Nolan's debut. Memento started off the decade on exactly the right foot. It is a heady, complicated, and attention-demanding puzzle of a film, with a superb performance from Guy Pearce and a great twist at the end. Memento is the kind of movie that challenges and rewards in equal measure. The structure of the script is nearly flawless, with the main character's short-term memory rendered in bold, vivid detail through plot mechanics and editing techniques. You're never really sure of what's going on until the very end, and even then, you still have to question all that's come before. Memento also proves surprisingly adept as a thriller, always keeping its audience on their toes. Nolan may have perfected the comic book movie with The Dark Knight, but Memento is an infinitely more clever and groundbreaking piece of work.

Here's the running list:

10. Mission: Impossible III

9. The Royal Tenenbaums

8. United 93

7. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

6. There Will Be Blood

5. Memento

Agree? Disagree? Post your thoughts below, and come back soon for No. 4, as the countdown continues.

- John

Ninja Assassin (**1/2)

2009-11-30T22:30:00.003-06:00

Ninja Assassin. 99 mins. R. Directed by James McTeigue. Written by Matthew Sand and J. Michael Straczynski. Starring Rain, Naomie Harris, and Stephen Markus.

Look, you already know whether you want to see this movie or not. One has to tip their cap to the brains behind the title for Ninja Assassin. Blunt and unassuming in its simplicity, Ninja Assassin has the potential to be the greatest movie ever made. Or the worst. What a shame then that the movie falls somewhere in between. Produced by the Wachowski Brothers and directed by protege James McTeigue, who previously helmed the much better V for Vendetta, Ninja Assassin plays out over a series of flashbacks. We watch as Raizo (Korean pop star, Rain) undergoes brutal training to become a highly sought-after "ninja assassin." Imagine the training sequence in Batman Begins, and then add a lot more blood (and a lot less quality). When McTeigue isn't focused on the action elements, the movie becomes a giant bore. In fact, apart from the gloriously over-the-top first five minutes, Ninja Assassin is a drag - a repetitive, poorly lit buffet of fake CGI blood and lots of inane dialogue about hearts. There is a certain B-movie charm to some of it, but Ninja Assassin aims to be trash and it achieves exactly that.

- John

Hammervision's 10 Best of the Decade: No. 6

2009-11-22T22:44:00.004-06:00

THERE WILL BE BLOOD (2007)

When I first saw There Will Be Blood in the theater, I was impressed but certainly not blown away. But days (and even years) later, the movie has stayed with me and kept me thinking. It truly is a modern American classic. Directed by P.T. Anderson, who made two of the best movies of the '90s (Boogie Nights and Magnolia), There Will Be Blood is his most accomplished and mature film to date, with all of the technical virtuosity that marked his previous films and none of the overt flashiness or gimmicks. Perhaps more importantly, Anderson has written, and given audiences, one of the most interesting, iconic characters in film history, Daniel Plainview, and put that character in the hands of the Oscar-winning Daniel Day-Lewis. DDL just tears into Plainview like a dog chomping down on a fresh steak fallen off the grill. Plainview is front and center for most of the movie, and with good reason. He's fascinating to watch, and DDL infuses the character with an enticing blend of pitch-black humor and ferocious misanthropy. DDL's Oscar and the movie's nomination for Best Picture were richly deserved. It's rare that such an intimate character piece is depicted on screen using such an epic and ornate scale. The cinematography is gorgeous, the music (by Radiohead's Jonny Greenwood) is unique and memorable, and the ending is hilariously abrupt, like something right out of a Kubrick movie. There Will Be Blood also earns bonus points for creating one of the great catchphrases of the decade: "I drink your milkshake!"

Here's the running list:

10. Mission: Impossible III

9. The Royal Tenenbaums

8. United 93

7. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

6. There Will Be Blood

We're halfway there! Agree? Disagree? Post your thoughts below, and come back after the holiday for No. 5, as the countdown continues.

- John

Planet 51 (**)

2009-11-22T22:38:00.004-06:00

Planet 51. 87 mins. PG. Directed by Jorge Blanco and Javier Abad. Written by Joe Stillman. Starring the voices of Dwayne Johnson, Justin Long, Seann William Scott, Jessica Biel, and Gary Oldman.

Planet 51 is about as bland and harmless an animated movie as you're likely to see this year, but I will say this - it's a great babysitting tool. Augie has been obsessed with the movie poster for months now (note: he also likes to look at Shrek - a clear indicator of some kind of green rubbery character fixation), so I felt it necessary to take him. He watched the entire thing - didn't really grow bored or antsy either. The story is basically just E.T. in reverse. When an astronaut (voiced by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) lands on Planet 51, it's up to a group of "alien" kids to get him back to his spaceship before the military gets hold of him. Keeping with the current tradition of unnecessarily casting famous voices in every role, Planet 51 boasts a pretty impressive voice cast (including Gary Oldman), but the script lacks the humor and grace of the Pixar and Dreamworks CGI animated films, so all that star wattage is for nought. The movie's best gag is an Alien-looking dog who pees acid, but I'm fairly certain most kids in the audience aren't going to get the Alien reference. No matter - if it captures their attention as much as it did Augie's, parents are going to have no problem heading out to Planet 51, no matter how lame it actually is.

- John

The Twilight Saga: New Moon (***)

2009-11-22T22:31:00.005-06:00

The Twilight Saga: New Moon. 130 mins. PG-13. Directed by Chris Weitz. Written by Melissa Rosenberg. Starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Michael Sheen, and Dakota Fanning.

Face it folks. It's a Twilight world - we're just living in it. At some point during Thursday midnight showing of The Twilight Saga: New Moon, my critical side gave up trying to nitpick all the inadequacies of this movie and just relinquished control to the mob of swooning girls around me, all clearly enraptured by the vampire-girl-werewolf love triangle unfolding on screen. Whether or not New Moon is any good (it's not really) is almost beside the point now. For better or worse, the franchise is a pop culture phenomenon that's not going anywhere anytime soon. And who am I to begrudge all the female fans who are swept up in it? There are worse things out there. Heck, I'd rather watch New Moon than have to suffer through Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen again. Like its predecessor, Twilight, New Moon is a moody teen soap opera with some fantastical elements. In Twilight, Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) fell for a vampire who thought he was too dangerous to be with her. In New Moon, it's the same exact story, only this time, it's a werewolf. I haven't read the third book in the series, Eclipse, but if Bella falls for some sort of Swamp Thing in that, I'm done. Robert Pattinson (as vampire Edward Cullen) has a much smaller role this time, and it's actually helped improve his performance. He's a little looser, more confident, and it makes the Edward-Jacob rivalry a tad easier to call. Stewart is perfectly cast as Bella, though her performance tics tend to annoy at times. Catherine Hardwicke, who directed Twilight, did not stick around for this second installment, and has been replaced by Chris Weitz (The Golden Compass). You'll never notice the difference though. And when the end cliffhanger hit, I found myself, despite many issues with New Moon, still wanting to see the next movie. But enough critical analysis already - two questions beg answers: First, Team Edward or Team Jacob? Tough call. If we're basing it on performance alone, it's Team Edward all the way. Otherwise, you gotta go Team Jacob. Cool CGI werewolf beats sparkle vamp every time. Second, is it better than Twilight? Slightly, yes. The special effects are much better, and, importantly, there are no vampires playing baseball in New Moon. One further note: if you're already a Twihard, this review certainly isn't going to change your mind about the movie - go ahead and add a star. If you're not, subtract a star.

- John

'Tis the Season: Hammervision's Fave Holiday Flicks

2009-11-21T09:07:00.004-06:00

The holidays are fast approaching, and what better way to get yourself in the festive mood than to break out the Christmas movies. Everybody has their favorites, sure, and it's a little presumptious to pick the best. When it comes to this kind of stuff, to each his/her own, I say. So instead I'll just list my Top 5 Favorite Holiday movies. Some are traditional, some are decidedly less so, but all are worth watching this time of year. Ho Ho Ho, here we go:

5. Die Hard
4. Love Actually
3. The Muppet Christmas Carol
2. A Christmas Story
1. Scrooged

What are yours? What do you think - does Die Hard count as a Christmas movie? For that matter, does Gremlins? And is Elf the only modern classic that deserves consideration? Does anybody out there actually like Fred Claus or Four Christmases?

Oh, and just so we're clear - my pick for absolute worst Christmas movie of all time: Christmas with the Kranks.

- John

Hammervision's 10 Best of the Decade: No. 7

2009-11-19T21:30:00.007-06:00

ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND (2004)

Screenwriters rarely get the credit they deserve. When a movie works, it's usually the directors, the actors, the cinematography, etc. that gets recognized. How refreshing then to see Charlie Kaufman be one of the few screenwriters whose name alone on a project makes it worth seeing. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is his masterpiece, and one that will be awfully hard for him to top. And this from the guy who also wrote Being John Malkovich! Both movies are great, but I think the edge has to go to Eternal Sunshine. The movie is ingenious and inventive, but what makes it Kaufman's best work is its emotionally resonant subject matter. Rarely has a romantic relationship on screen been depicted with such originality and beauty. Kaufman is ably supported in the visual department by story collaborator and director Michel Gondry, who consistently keeps things interesting and playful, and definitely has a lot of fun with the medium - challenging the audience but never losing sight of the emotional through line. And the performances! Kate Winslet is fantastic as always, and so is Jim Carrey. I always forget Carrey is in this movie - he gives such a low-key, nuanced performance, but unlike other comics in serious roles, he's never dull or inexpressive. To filmmakers everywhere, Eternal Sunshine is an inspiration. One should always aspire to think and dream as far outside the box as this movie actually does.

Here's the running list:

10. Mission: Impossible III

9. The Royal Tenenbaums

8. United 93

7. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Agree? Disagree? Post your thoughts below, and come back soon for No. 6.

- John

2012 (**1/2)

2009-11-18T18:40:00.001-06:00

2012. 158 mins. PG-13. Directed by Roland Emmerich. Written by Roland Emmerich & Harald Kloser. Starring John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Amanda Peet, Oliver Platt, Thandie Newton, Danny Glover, and Woody Harrelson.

There are a lot of blurbs you can throw at 2012, Roland Emmerich's latest disaster porn epic. Spectacularly stupid! Impressively incompetent! Friggin' dumb! Way too long! The movie is just one big exclamation point of filmmaking, visually rendered by a team of immensely talented effects artists, and ultimately hampered by Emmerich's hack directing and plodding script. 2012 completes his trilogy of destruction - the other two being Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow. It's better than Tomorrow, but lacks the freshness and fun of ID4. John Cusack is a likeable actor in the right role, but he's no Will Smith and he lacks the kind of star wattage needed to carry this big a production on his shoulders. Cusack plays a writer named Jackson Curtis who races to save his ex-wife (Amanda Peet), kids, and her new boyfriend (Tom McCarthy) before a global cataclysm threatens to destroy all of mankind. The action sequences here are on a giant scale and deserve to be seen on the big screen, but they do grow repetitive. See Cusack and family outrun impending doom in a limo! A plane! Another plane! An RV! When the action dials down a notch, Emmerich sticks to the same kitchen sink of characters approach he used in ID4, but to less success. There's a lack of focus to the script, with too much time given to unimportant supporting characters. By the time the movie finally gets to its finale, an ungainly hybrid of Evan Almighty and Poseidon, you're so exhausted by all the death, water, and mayhem that you just want it to be over. But Emmerich doesn't care - he treats 2012 like the Energizer Bunny: it keeps going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going. Well, you get the idea.

- John

Hammervision's 10 Best of the Decade: No. 8

2009-11-17T18:43:00.001-06:00

UNITED 93 (2006)

Few movies have rattled me so deeply as United 93. Directed by Paul Greengrass (of The Bourne Supremacy and Ultimatum) with the utmost precision and grace, and an almost alarming sense of urgency and realism, millions avoided the movie in theaters and still have yet to see it. That's a shame because United 93 is a powerful, gut-wrenching movie that honors the passengers on that flight and never once stoops to trivializing the drama or reveling in sentimentality or cliches. In fact, part of the reason the movie works so well is that the set-up is pure Hollywood (terrorists take over a plane and it's up to the passengers to take them down), and as an audience, we're accustomed to seeing that story arc play out in a certain way (usually with Bruce Willis). When United 93 ultimately deviates from that arc, it's devastating. The last twenty minutes of the movie are a visceral tour de force. Seeing it for the first time, I could barely breathe and it felt like my stomach was in my throat. Greengrass puts you on that plane. And that plane is going down. United 93 is brutal yet brilliant and demands to be seen.

Here's the running list:

10. Mission: Impossible III
9. The Royal Tenenbaums
8. United 93
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1.

Agree? Disagree? Post your thoughts below, and come back soon for No. 7.

- John

The Box (***1/2)

2009-11-16T22:28:00.000-06:00

The Box. 111 mins. PG-13. Written and Directed by Richard Kelly. Starring Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, and Frank Langella.

There are going to be a ton of people who despise The Box. It tanked its first weekend at the box office, and audiences roundly gave it a grade of "F." I respectfully disagree. I dug The Box. Some movies have a certain vibe to them, and you're either on the same wavelength or you're not. This one worked for me. Going in, I didn't know the movie would be set in 1976. The place is a Virginia suburb, and Cameron Diaz and James Marsden play a happily married couple with one son. When a mysterious man with half a face (the dependably unnerving Frank Langella) drops a box at the couple's doorstep, he presents a morally dubious proposition: push the button on the box and someone somewhere who they don't know will die, and they'll get one million dollars in return. Needless to say, Diaz presses the button and bad things happen. Although The Box is being promoted as a horror movie, it's not. In my mind, the '70s setting is the key to the movie's success. It has the same type of pacing, music, and mood of many paranoid thrillers of that era, and rather than provide thrills or scares, it settles for just being weird and atypical. The Box is an off-kilter combo of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Three Days of the Condor, and any given Twilight Zone episode. Writer-director Richard Kelly achieves what he set out to do - and builds nicely on the promise of Donnie Darko. He's not a one-hit wonder, and The Box should get more respect as time passes. It's not perfect, and I'm not sure I understood everything that happens - perhaps you, fellow readers, can help explain the various twists and turns, but The Box struck me as unique and interesting, with a dark ending that satisfies.

- John

Precious (***)

2009-11-16T22:25:00.000-06:00

Precious. 109 mins. R. Directed by Lee Daniels. Written by Geoffrey Fletcher. Starring Mo'nique, Mariah Carey, Paula Patton, Lenny Kravitz, and Gabourey Sidibe.

Precious has made waves at various film festivals all year and received a host of critical kudos. Some of those are well-deserved. The acting in Precious is just phenomenal, and almost every cast member (many of them famous musicians and comedians) should be recognized come Oscar time. The movie, based on the novel Push by Sapphire, is a gritty, realistic look at a physically and emotionally abused teen girl facing illiteracy, pregnancy, AIDS, and perhaps the worst home life of all time. Things start to look up though when she gets into a private school and her professor (Paula Patton) helps her realize her true potential. The girl is played by newcomer Gabourey Sidibe, and she does a bang-up job, nailing every emotional note and never wavering from complete believability. Even better is Mo'Nique as her abusive mom - perhaps the worst mom of all time. Mo'Nique is a force of nature on screen and a surefire Best Supporting Actress nominee. The supporting cast is also great - even Mariah Carey (nearly unrecognizable) delivers a superb performance. Apart from the acting though, Precious is kind of a mixed bag. Yes, director Lee Daniels deserves credit for casting these actors and getting the performances he does out of them, and yes, he does take an unflinching look at Precious' turbulent home life. But Daniels takes just as many missteps - there are a number of jarring fantasy sequences that instantly take you out of the movie's hard-knock spell and render the movie cutesy. I understand that without them, Precious would be a bit too grim, but heck, if you want to see what a real director can do with challenging, uncompromising material, check out Darren Aronofsky's Requiem for a Dream. Some of the editing is a bit sloppy, and the movie teeters too close to going dramatically over-the-top, but the acting always saves the day and makes this one worth seeing.

- John

Hammervision's 10 Best of the Decade: No. 9

2009-11-11T23:29:00.006-06:00

THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS (2001)

Wes Anderson hit his peak with this follow-up to Rushmore. He's been trying to match its success ever since. Combining pathos with comedy, quirkiness with ultra-stylization, and ably supported by a fine, sharp cast spearheaded by the legendary Gene Hackman, The Royal Tenenbaums is droll comedy as high art. Anderson proves himself a gifted filmmaker, and together with co-writer and co-star Owen Wilson, displays a keen sense for character and dialogue. There are so many funny moments in here, and all are underplayed - subtle to the point where you blink and you'll miss them. The Royal Tenenbaums rewards repeat viewings, and has a surprising amount of heart (the scene where Ben Stiller breaks down and says, "I've had a rough year, Dad" never fails to get me). In the years since it's release, the movie's distinct comedic style has been often imitated but never equaled.

Here's the running list:

10. Mission: Impossible III

9. The Royal Tenenbaums

Check back soon for more!

- John

Disney's A Christmas Carol (**)

2009-11-09T22:22:00.003-06:00

Disney's A Christmas Carol. 96 mins. PG. Written and Directed by Robert Zemeckis. Starring Jim Carrey, Gary Oldman, Robin Wright, Colin Firth, and Bob Hoskins.

Okay, Mr. Zemeckis - you've had your fun playing in the performance capture sandbox, but it's officially time to stop. I actually liked The Polar Express (especially in IMAX) and thought Beowolf was pretty nifty in parts, but I am not a fan of this latest retelling of Charles Dickens' classic Christmas tale. Jim Carrey does all he can here playing Scrooge and all three ghosts that come to visit him on Christmas Eve, but he's saddled with an emotionally inert movie. A Christmas Carol is one of my absolute favorite stories, and I love almost all of its previous iterations on screen (The Muppet Christmas Carol and Scrooged probably top the list), but this Disney/Zemeckis version is pretty worthless. Oh sure, Zemeckis (in screenwriter mode) stays faithful to the source material and, for the most part, keeps things classy and respectable, but the movie just goes through the motions. Performance capture animation is great for getting shots of things you can't typically get (a sweeping panorama shot of the city at the beginning is a standout), but more than anything, it's just distracting. You pay so much attention to how close the animators get to creating a human look-alike that the story is given short shrift. Here, the big transformative moment in Scrooge is more of a whimper - he changes his life, sure, but there's no joy to anything. The entire movie is calculated and mechanical, connecting the dots where it needs to but, aside from a totally unnecessary action sequence involving the Ghost of Christmas Future at the end, never really coloring too far outside the lines. The only thing that sets this version apart is the performance capture animation and the heightened hook of the ghost story. This is not a movie for little kids - they'll either be too scared or bored, probably both. If it's Christmas cheer you're after - say Bah Humbug to Disney's A Christmas Carol and look elsewhere. As for Zemeckis, give us a real movie next time. Please.

- John

The Men Who Stare at Goats (**)

2009-11-09T22:20:00.003-06:00

The Men Who Stare at Goats. 99 mins. R. Directed by Grant Heslov. Written by Peter Straughan. Starring George Clooney, Jeff Bridges, Ewan McGregor, and Kevin Spacey.

Despite the promise of a great cast, with Clooney acting goofy and Jeff Bridges returning to his Big Lebowski roots as a trippy colonel, The Men Who Stare at Goats is surprisingly lackluster and only mildly amusing in spots. Based on a true story about military-trained psychic spies, the movie (directed by Clooney's pal, Grant Heslov) follows a Michigan journalist played by Ewan McGregor who meets Lyn Cassady (Clooney) and follows him to a mission in Iraq. The movie cuts back and forth between the backstory of the paranormal military program and Cassady's current operation. There is potential to be had with this story, but it's neither realized in the script nor on the screen. Keeping with tradition, most of the funny bits are already given away in the preview. The cast is game - though I have to ask: is it just me or does Ewan McGregor have the worst American accent in an actor working today? The Men Who Stare At Goats is lightweight and disposable. Perhaps the funniest bit is an unintentional one: the psychic spies call themselves "Jedi Warriors", to which McGregor (Young Obi-Wan himself) replies, "What's a Jedi?" There - I just saved you $10.

- John

Hammervision's 10 Best of the Decade: No. 10

2009-11-09T16:37:00.003-06:00

Inspired by the weekly rundown of the Top 10 of the Decade on At the Movies with A.O. Scott and Michael Phillips, I've decided to take up the challenge and post my own list. I will count down my picks for the 10 best movies of the decade: 2000 to 2009. I'll do one/two movies a week in the hopes that by the end of '09, you'll have the full list. So, let's get to it.

Coming in at No. 10:

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III (2006)

Yes. You read that right. M:I3 is about as perfectly pitched a popcorn flick as you're likely to get and, hands down, the best action movie of the decade. Paced within an inch of its life, and smartly directed by J.J. Abrams - M:I3 moves with lightning precision. It's fresh, funny, exciting, and unpretentious, with awesome action set pieces around every corner. Pitting Cruise against Philip Seymour Hoffman was an inspired choice, and the screenwriters' ability to strip down the story to its most basic, and human, essence ("this time, it's personal") is nothing short of miraculous at a time when most other bloated blockbusters are way too convoluted for their own good (Pirates 2 and 3 anyone?). If the movie were called anything other than M:I3 (say, "Rabbit's Foot"), and didn't come out right after Cruise's couch jumping, I think there'd be a whole lot more people in my camp. As it stands, I feel no shame in admitting that M:I3 has (quickly) become my favorite movie of all time.

So there you have it. Here's the running list:

10. Mission: Impossible III

- John

Law Abiding Citizen (**1/2)

2009-11-04T23:55:00.004-06:00

Law Abiding Citizen. 106 mins. R. Directed by F. Gary Gray. Written by Kurt Wimmer. Starring Jamie Foxx, Gerard Butler, Leslie Bibb, Bruce McGill, and Colm Meaney.

For two-thirds of its running time, Law Abiding Citizen manages to be an entertaining and effective, if grisly, morality tale, with an intriguing premise and strong performances from its two leads. Gerard Butler stars as Clyde Shelton, who, in the opening minutes of the film, watches as his wife and daughter are raped and killed by two burglars. Fast forward ten years later, and he's out for revenge against the two criminals, the prosecutor (played by Jamie Foxx), the judge, the jury, the cops, the lawyers, and, heck, the legal establishment as a whole. Things get a little nutty at times, especially all of Shelton's intricate death traps masterminded while he's in jail. One scene in particular had me laughing for about five minutes, even though it's treated seriously. All I'll say about it is this: cell phone that shoots bullets. Bam. Butler is really good here, but he's playing a character who makes Saw's Jigsaw look like a poor planner. Shelton is like The Joker meets Hannibal Lector meets Samuel L. Jackson in A Time to Kill. When the movie sticks to the mind games between Butler and Foxx, it's solid. But when that last act comes around, and the movie's tricks are revealed, Law Abiding Citizen stops being entertainingly preposterous, and just ends up preposterous. Director F. Gary Gray can't help but lose his footing at this point. It doesn't help that he's stuck with an underground tunnel plot twist that just reeks of lack of inventiveness. As a hokey B-movie, Law Abiding Citizen is decent enough, but as a serious meditation on justice and the legal system, it falls way short of the mark.

- John

Michael Jackson's This Is It (***)

2009-10-31T07:01:00.003-05:00

Michael Jackson's This Is It. 111 mins. PG. Directed by Kenny Ortega. Starring Michael Jackson.

This Is It is about as good as it can be, but it's just a shame that this is what audiences have to watch rather than the real thing. Culled from who knows how many hours of rehearsal footage, This Is It shows Michael Jackson preparing for a series of concerts in Europe that would play to the fans, rake in a ton of money, and hopefully get him out of debt. There's a lot of good footage here, and the show's director, Kenny Ortega (High School Musical, Newsies), also serves as the movie's director. He does a nice job of keeping the focus on Michael and moving the picture along. It's basically split up into a series of bits on each song, and the audience is given a sense of what the concert would have actually been like. Based on what's presented here, it would have been one heck of a concert. Michael is in top form, at least voice wise, and he certainly still has some dance moves. At times, his movements seem out of this world, and I guess the same could be said of Michael's personality. He's a weird dude, to be sure, but he's immensely talented and This Is It captures that dynamic. This is definitely not a full profile of the man. My big drawback with the movie is the fact that this was never supposed to be a movie. Rehearsal footage is interesting and all, but it means that we're never treated to a full blown performance. Michael kind of half sings and half goes through the steps the whole time - it's never 100%. So as a concert film, it's good, but not great - an unfortunately unfinished project. The other issue I had with it is that because the movie focuses so much on Michael and never strays too far from him for too long, we only get quick, fleeting glimpses of the behind-the-scenes action - how the show was created, the costumes, the choreography, the production elements, etc. That stuff is in there, but not enough, so as a full-fledged "behind the curtain"-type of documentary, This Is It comes up short. Still, there's no denying Michael's legacy, and This Is It does justice to both the man and his music.

- John

Trick 'r Treat (***)

2009-10-28T22:49:00.003-05:00

Trick 'r Treat. 82 mins. R. Written and Directed by Michael Dougherty. Starring Leslie Bibb, Dylan Baker, Anna Paquin, and Brian Cox.

Just a quick note on this one. Despite having built up a pretty fervent cult following after playing at several horror festivals the last two years, Warner Bros. decided to dump this well-reviewed film straight to DVD. And though it would be fun to watch in a theater, I think DVD is actually the best way to view Trick 'r Treat. It's a throwback to the '80s in the best possible way. Juggling four different stories set on Halloween that initially seem unconnected and then intertwine, Trick 'r Treat recalls other horror anthologies like Creepshow. It's a fun, not-too-scary movie, with a couple of great sequences, and an inordinate amount of kids dying on screen. On second thought, maybe that's why it went straight to DVD. The movie is not perfect, and it's kind of slight, but if you're into comedic horror movies or '80s flicks and want a quick fun viewing, you won't go wrong with Trick 'r Treat.

- John

Where the Wild Things Are (**1/2)

2009-10-26T23:05:00.003-05:00

Where the Wild Things Are. 94 mins. PG. Directed by Spike Jonze. Written by Spike Jonze & Dave Eggers. Starring Max Records, Catherine Keener, Mark Ruffalo, and the voices of James Gandolfini, Lauren Ambrose, Catherine O'Hara, and Forest Whitaker.

It pains me to say it, as I was really looking forward to this one, but, at best, Where the Wild Things Are is an ambitious misfire. At worst, it's a tedious, melodramatic bore about a little boy and a bunch of manic depressive monsters. There's no denying the heart and soul that went into this movie. Co-writer/director Spike Jonze is a talented guy, and you can sense his passion and devotion behind the camera. A lot of thought went into this adaptation of the beloved children's book by Maurice Sendak, and kudos for turning 13 sentences into a sustainable feature length film. In fact, I liked a lot of things about the movie. The first twenty minutes are highly effective as we see the boy, Max, face relatable childhood problems: a sister who won't play with him, a destroyed snow fort, a mom who'd rather work than play with him. The chords the movie strikes during this opening segment are pure and true. I liked the music by the Yeah Yeah Yeah's Karen O, which perfectly captures the spirit of childhood. The cinematography and art direction are fantastic. I liked the use of giant puppet costumes for the monsters rather than CGI, and think it was a brilliant move to cast James Gandolfini as the voice of the main monster, Carol. Gandolfini has an almost comedic, light tone to his voice, but when he gets angry - it turns scary, and nobody breathes better (or more heavily) than Gandolfini.

So that's the good - should be enough, right? Unfortunately no. Once Max gets to the island, things start to fall apart. The theme of the movie (children feel everything that adults do but don't know how to articulate it) is hammered home time and time again by the half clever/half heavy-handed device of using each monster to represent a facet of Max's personality or one of his family members. The dialogue between Max and the monsters is dull and tepidly written. The "wild rumpus" that marks the main part of Sendak's book is quick and sloppily rendered in the movie. It's clear that Jonze and company didn't have entertainment on their mind when making it - they were trying to make a point. And that's exactly the problem. I can take real. I can take dark and depressing. I could care less if kids like this movie or not. I appreciate that Jonze and company were trying to make a film about childhood for adults. But I cannot stand when entertainment is sacrificed for art. The two are not mutually exclusive, and, in fact, the best movies do both. Where the Wild Things, for all its ambition, is not one of those movies.

- John

Couples Retreat (**1/2)

2009-10-26T23:03:00.003-05:00

Couples Retreat. 107 mins. PG-13. Directed by Peter Billingsley. Written by Jon Favreau, and Vince Vaughn & Dana Fox. Starring Vince Vaughn, Malin Akerman, Kristin Bell, Jason Bateman, Jon Favreau, Kristin Davis, Faizon Love, and Jean Reno.

By all accounts, Couples Retreat should have been a much better movie than it actually is. Co-written by longtime friends and co-stars Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau, and directed by pal Peter Billingsley (Ralphie from A Christmas Story), the movie has a great cast, an exotic location, and a promising comedic set-up. Vaughn and Malin Akerman (who's actually never been better - seriously) play the most stable couple in the movie, who decide to head to Bora Bora and accompany their best friends, a type-A, fertility challenged pair played by the always dependable Jason Bateman and Kristin Bell, as they try to mend their broken relationship and stave off divorce. Also along for the ride are an adulterous pair of high school sweethearts (Kristin Davis and Jon Favreau) as well as a recently divorced guy dating a girl half his age (Faizon Love). What promises to be fun in the sun soon turns into couples therapy and yoga sessions - all played to none-too-subtle effect. For a while there (a good portion actually), Couples Retreat coasts along on the charm of its cast and a handful of amusing gags. It doesn't hurt to have beautiful locations and Kristin Bell in a bikini for most of the movie. But then that last third hits, and everything falls apart. There's a cheesy Guitar Hero battle staged like an Old West confrontation, an unfortunately timed rain storm, and the ridiculous happy endings given to each couple. The movie would have been much more effective if it had kept together those couples who should stay together, and broken up those that had no business being together (ahem, Favreau and Davis, ahem). The big climax strikes one false note after another, and will have you rolling your eyes. Still, the cast holds this slipshod affair together. For the most part. Kind of. Not really.

- John

Capitalism: A Love Story (**)

2009-10-26T22:44:00.003-05:00

Capitalism: A Love Story. 127 mins. R. Written & Directed by and Starring Michael Moore.

Love him or hate him, Michael Moore may be a polarizing personality but he's a pretty darn good filmmaker. Even when his movies overreach or avoid impartiality, he still knows how to entertain and keep things interesting. But after four big documentaries (Roger & Me, Bowling for Columbine, Fahrenheit 9/11, and Sicko), his filmmaking quirks are starting to wear a little thin. It doesn't matter what subject he's covering - he always pulls from the same bag of tricks. The sing-song narration, the Jackass-style "stunts", the archival footage of 1950s Americana, the weepy profiles on victims (of gun control, health care, George Bush, GE, etc.). By now, you've seen it all before and the end result is just tiring. It doesn't help matters that Moore struggles to connect the dots necessary to make the grand thesis statement he wants to make: capitalism is the devil. That's a tad hard to believe given the fact that capitalism has been very kind to Moore, and though I appreciate how popular Moore has made the documentary film, he's starting to abuse the power he's gained. Maybe he needs to switch it up and tackle another fictional film (but please, no Canadian Bacon 2). Capitalism: A Love Story is all talk and no game. At a running time of over 2 hours, the movie easily outstays its welcome, and offers zero solutions to the problems it raises. If it's a documentary you're after - allow me to suggest Anvil! The Story of Anvil instead.

- John

The Invention of Lying (**1/2)

2009-10-26T22:30:00.002-05:00

The Invention of Lying. 99 mins. PG-13. Written and Directed by Ricky Gervais & Matthew Robinson. Starring Ricky Gervais, Jennifer Garner, Tina Fey, Rob Lowe, Louis C.K., and Jonah Hill.

Anyone who's seen the British version of The Office or Extras knows that Ricky Gervais is one seriously funny guy. And when he writes and directs his own material, you're usually in for something special. Such were my hopes with The Invention of Lying. Gervais hasn't had the best luck on American screens - Ghost Town was just alright and the Night at the Museum flicks are nothing to write home about. Turns out neither is his latest effort. Despite a clever premise (Gervais creates the first lie in a world where people only speak the truth) and a very promising (and funny) first half hour, The Invention of Lying soon loses its way, trading laughs for feel good moments and lame religious allegory. Gervais is at his best when he's misanthropic, awkward and sarcastic, and all of that is in rather short supply here. Not even Jennifer Garner as his unlikely love interest can save the movie. The Invention of Lying had the potential to be another Groundhog Day - what we get though is another Ghost Town. Gervais has a great big screen comedy in him still, but he has to stop courting the masses. When comedies try to please everyone, they usually end up pleasing no one.

- John

A Serious Man (***)

2009-10-10T13:28:00.006-05:00

A Serious Man. 105 mins. R. Written and Directed by Joel & Ethan Coen. Starring Michael Stuhlbarg, Richard Kind, Fred Melamed, and Amy Landecker.

The big story behind A Serious Man, the latest film from the Coen Brothers, is that it's their most personal movie to date. That doesn't necessarily mean it's their best. A Serious Man is a step down from last year's very funny, star-studded Burn After Reading and six degrees removed from the Oscar-winning No Country for Old Men. Theater actor Michael Stuhlbarg plays Larry Gopnik, a suburban Jewish man in the 1960s dealing with a handful of crises which all seem to be coming to a head. His estranged wife wants a "Get" - some Jewish form of divorce; his son is constantly on the run from a school bully to whom he owes money; his wack job brother (Richard Kind) is sleeping on his couch; and he's getting blackmailed at work on the eve of getting tenure. This being a Coen Brothers movie and all, there are a handful of absurdly hilarious moments and some cleverly written exchanges of dialogue, but the movie never really achieves liftoff and hovers around the same serio-comic stasis that plagued their arty hit-and-miss The Man Who Wasn't There back in '01. Stuhlbarg is good, and the scenes between him and one of his students bribing for a better grade are immensely enjoyable. The ending is a bit abrupt and doesn't really leave you with a fond impression, but no film fan can ignore a Coen Brothers movie, and A Serious Man is no exception.

- John

Whip It (**)

2009-10-03T16:40:00.005-05:00

Whip It. 121 mins. PG-13. Directed by Drew Barrymore. Written by Shauna Cross. Starring Ellen Page, Marcia Gay Harden, Kristen Wiig, Eve, Drew Barrymore, Juliette Lewis, Daniel Stern, Andrew Wilson, and Jimmy Fallon.

Drew Barrymore makes her directorial debut with Whip It, and that's what it feels like: a movie from a first-time filmmaker. The big success here is that Drew was able to pull it off. She's made a movie. It's not a very original movie, and it's not all that funny, but it's far from a disaster. Ellen Page stars as Bliss Cavender, an aimless indie-rock loving misfit, who rebels against her beauty pageant-loving mom (Marcia Gay Harden), and joins up with a roller derby squad called the Hurl Scouts. Adopting the moniker of Babe Ruthless, it's there that she finds her true self and a place in the world, if only she can overcome her parents' disapproval, her best friend's rejection, and the taunts of a rival roller derby queen played by Juliette Lewis. Page is good and very different here than she was in Juno, but she's stuck having to play cliche after cliche, and the unimaginative script is strictly by-the-numbers. Andrew Wilson (Luke and Owen's brother) has a couple of nice moments as the squad's coach, and Kristen Wiig is pretty good too in a mostly dramatic role that shows her range as a performer. But for every thing that Drew gets right, she gets as many things wrong. She doesn't really capture the intoxicating thrill of roller derby, or why Bliss would be so drawn to it in the first place. As a director, Drew is also prone to corny "comedic" moments, like when the girls get in an all-out food fight after a game one night. Food fight scenes are almost impossible to pull off, and Whip It proves to be no exception to the rule. By the end, you're just ready for the parade of cliches to end. Will Bliss' mom accept her newfound roller derby queen status? Will her dad attend one of her games? Will her best friend forgive her? Will the Hurl Scouts win the championship? That last question should be easy to answer if you've seen A League of Their Own. Here's hoping Drew uses Whip It for the stepping stone in her directing career that it is, and actually does something a little more worthwhile next time out.

- John

Zombieland (****1/2)

2009-10-03T16:37:00.003-05:00

Zombieland. 81 mins. R. Directed by Ruben Fleischer. Written by Rhett Reese & Paul Wernick. Starring Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin.

Zombieland is everything you could want in a horror comedy about a world taken over by zombies and more. It is an unpretentious, kick-ass flick that hits the comedic bullseye almost every step of the way. The script is smart, the direction is stylish, and the casting inspired. How great is it to see Woody Harrelson back in action as a leading man? Woody is an awesome actor particularly adept at comedies, and he's got himself a classic character here as Tallahassee, the Twinkie-lovin' zombie killer in the vein of John Wayne. He's equally matched with Roger Dodger and Adventureland's Jesse Eisenberg as Columbus, who, armed with a boatload of funny lines, makes all of them stick. Zombies certainly factor into the movie, but it's more of a road trip comedy than anything else. Tallahassee and Columbus are joined by Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin) as they travel cross country to L.A., looking for the last refuge in America that hasn't been taken over by zombies. Along the way, Columbus (all the characters are named after their home towns) serves as the audience's nervous tour guide to Zombieland, giving a list of rules to survive (Rule No. 1 - Cardio). These rules pop up on screen throughout the movie, and they're cleverly used, sometimes making a funny scene even funnier. Best of all though is a celebrity cameo in the middle of the movie (I won't reveal who), and it's one of the great cameos of all time, both for who the person is and what the movie does with him/her. This segment is an instant classic, and will definitely be a highlight talking point for audience members when the lights go up. If you enjoyed Shaun of the Dead, you're almost certain to get a kick out of Zombieland. The movie is gory, goofy fun, and I can't recommend it highly enough. Nut up or shut up, but whatever you do, go see Zombieland. It's one of the best of the year.

- John

Surrogates (**1/2)

2009-10-03T16:35:00.005-05:00

Surrogates. 89 mins. PG-13. Directed by Jonathan Mostow. Written by Michael Ferris & John Brancato. Starring Bruce Willis, Radha Mitchell, Rosamund Pike, James Cromwell, and Ving Rhames.

Surrogates is a competent but lazy retread of many movies of its ilk that have come before (I, Robot, District 9, The Island, etc.). Clocking in at under 90 minutes, the movie is easily watchable and though director Jonathan Mostow (Breakdown, Terminator 3) manages to stage one or two exciting action sequences, the story is so been there-done that, and Bruce Willis so clearly phones it in, that Surrogates can't ever rise above mediocre. Willis plays a cop in the near future, where everyone lives vicariously through robot, look-alike surrogates. As a result, crime is down and cities are safe and clean, but sterile, and nobody really lives life anymore. This point is hammered home repeatedly throughout as we see the real human characters in horrible condition - as if they haven't taken a shower in over a month. When two people are murdered, Willis' cop character frees himself from his surrogate and tries to solve the murder himself, uncovering far-reaching conspiracies and taking down the whole surrogate system in the process. Surrogates is instantly forgettable and the very definition of disposable entertainment - it's the kind of movie you'd find being broadcast on TBS on a Saturday night. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's not all that good either.

- John

Fame (*1/2)

2009-10-03T16:31:00.004-05:00

Fame. 107 mins. PG. Directed by Kevin Tancharoen. Written by Allison Burnett. Starring Kay Panabaker, Naturi Naughton, Kherrington Payne, Bebe Neuwirth, Kelsey Grammar, Charles S. Dutton, and Megan Mullally.

Look, I love the Step Up movies about as much as a 30 year-old married man should. I'm a huge fan of talent shows like American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance. And I'm a former theater major, so the whole art school thing hits a little close to home. But all that being said, I pretty much hated this remake of Fame. Lacking some of the grit and '80s cheese factor of Alan Parker's original, this new Fame is a toothless High School Musical wannabe, with almost nothing in the way of plot and a noticeable lack of charm (or acting ability) from any of the young performers. The movie is broken into four segments that line up with school years, and tracks a group of artists (dancers, singers, actors) as they struggle to overcome parental prejudice, crusty teachers, and the impossibilities of show business. Some succeed, and some fail, but Fame won't make you care a lick about any of them. Each performer's backstory is thinly sketched, and revels in cliches. For example, one performer's disapproving dad takes his daughter to task for wanting to sing "honkytonk music" (i.e., hip hop) rather than play classical piano, but by the end, he's proud of his daughter's hidden singing talents. There are a bunch of groan-worthy scenes, particularly one improvised sing-along in a school cafeteria and another where a teacher (played by Megan Mullally) sings at karaoke while her students go crazy in the audience. With any luck, this Fame will not live forever and instead die a quick death in theaters before getting lost on DVD.

- John

Pandorum (*)

2009-10-03T16:11:00.003-05:00

Pandorum. 108 mins. R. Directed by Christian Alvert. Written by Travis Milloy. Starring Dennis Quaid and Ben Foster.

Pandorum is like a reject SyFy movie of the week - something that should have never seen the light of day, let alone the inside of a movie theater. The story doesn't make a lick of sense and I don't even think I could tell you what it was about even if I tried, but here goes. Dennis Quaid and Ben Foster play space cadets fighting a bunch of Descent-type Gollum creatures as well as their inner demons, in an isolated spaceship set adrift. Or something of that sort. Honestly, I could care less. Pandorum is worthless on almost every single level. Dennis Quaid continues his decline as an actor - whatever goodwill he earned from his comeback in the early '00s is now long gone. Sure, the production design is decent here, but it's pretty hard not to screw that one up given the dark and hopeless space setting. Pandorum reeks of every kind of Alien knockoff film (Event Horizon, etc.) that has come before it. Indeed, the mood and atmosphere are cribbed directly from Alien, and there's an instant overfamiliarty with the movie that sets it off on the wrong foot, never allowing it to recover thereafter. Couple this with an erratic editing style and on-screen action that is chaotic and messy to the point where the audience can't even tell what's happening, and you get what is easily one of the worst movies of this or any other year.

- John

Paranormal Activity (***)

2009-10-03T09:08:00.003-05:00

Paranormal Activity. 99 mins. R. Written and Directed by Oren Peli. Starring Katie Featherston and Micah Sloat.

You may not have heard of Paranormal Activity yet, but you soon will. It's one of the more effective scare stories in recent years, shot on a shoestring budget of $11,000. Ever since it premiered at a couple of film festivals in '07 and '08, positive word of mouth has spread, with some proclaiming it one of the scariest movies of all time. I don't think that's true, and if you can cut through all the over-hype about this being the next Blair Witch Project, what you'll find is an inventive, gore-free thriller. The story is simple enough - a young couple who just moved in together feel their house is haunted (doors closing shut, windows opening, etc) so they buy a camera and film their bedroom at night. It's the same shot scattered throughout the film (see the poster at the left) and there's always a ticking clock in the bottom right corner of the screen. Although the movie can get a little repetitive at times (the couple joke around in the daytime; get scared at nighttime), there's no denying that whenever the movie cuts to the nighttime footage of their bedroom, things get creepy and a sense of dread washes over the audience. Credit should go to writer-director Oren Peli, who shows a nice grasp of mounting tension and never goes for the easy scare (save for the money shot at the end, and some unfortunate CGI that follows). I was also impressed with the acting by newbies Katie Featherston and Micah Sloat. These aren't great performances or anything, but they are quite good for the genre. Paranormal Activity is fun to watch with a theater full of people, but I think it might actually be scarier if you avoid seeing it in the theater. Don't read anything more about it. Rent it when it comes on DVD, watch it by yourself at midnight, and you're sure to get the chills.

- John

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (***1/2)

2009-09-22T22:21:00.006-05:00

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. 82 mins. PG. Written and Directed by Phil Lord and Chris Miller. Starring the voices of Bill Hader, Anna Faris, Neil Patrick Harris, Bruce Campbell, Andy Samberg, James Caan, and Mr. T.

I never read the beloved children's book that the movie is based on, but as written and directed by Phil Lord and Chris Miller (two writing vets of How I Met Your Mother), Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs is a rollicking delight for both kids and adults. It's one of the more successful non-Pixar animated movies of late mostly due to the script and voicework. When inventor Flint Lockwood (Bill Hader) invents a device that turns water into food, his sardine-loving town has all kinds of delicious food fall from the sky. Lockwood's invention was supposed to end world hunger, but problems develop when the town denizens start overeating. The visuals, as rendered in Digital 3D, are gloriously yummy and the comedy is smart and quick. There's great use of running jokes and call-backs, and if you're a fan of How I Met Your Mother (I am), you'll enjoy the comedic tone sustained throughout. Hader and Faris are great as Lockwood and his weather gal squeeze, but NPH steals the show as a monkey whose thoughts are made audible by one of Lockwood's inventions. Cloudy manages to execute this concept much better than Up did, with its Dug the dog character. The movie nearly wears out its welcome toward the end when the action ramps up and takes over, but the movie is so short and it's earned enough goodwill up to then that you don't really care. I'd recommend checking it out in 3D, and kids or no kids, it's worth seeing.

- John

The Informant (***)

2009-09-22T22:21:00.005-05:00

The Informant. 108 mins. PG-13. Directed by Steven Soderbergh. Written by Scott Z. Burns. Starring Matt Damon, Joel McHale, Scott Bakula, and Melanie Lynskey.

Director Steven Soderbergh can be hit and miss, and, for better or worse, you never know what you're going to get with him. The Informant! falls on the good side of the line. It's a quirky little comedy, anchored by a great lead performance from Matt Damon. Based on a true story, Damon plays the title informant, Mark Whitacre, an executive at Archer Midland Daniels, who blows the whistle on a price fixing scheme in the mid-90s. The set-up is like Michael Mann's The Insider, but the execution is about 180 degrees different. As if the exclamation point in the title didn't give it away, The Informant! is a comedy, and Soderbergh stages the proceedings with deadpan silliness, backing it up with a goofy musical score by Marvin Hamlisch that amuses as much as it distracts. Whitacre's story unfolds in cascading waves of ridiculousness, springing from the fact that Whitacre has bi-polar disorder. He makes things up as he goes along and nothing he says can really be trusted. In a clever use of narration, the audience gets random samplings of Whitacre's thought process throughout. The Informant! draws chuckles but it's not hilarious, and even though Soderbergh and Damon are more than game, the movie never quite sweeps the audience up in its story. Perhaps that's because, like Whitacre himself, everything is a little off, a little screwy. Still, it's a decent effort and worth checking out on DVD if you can't make it to the theater.

- John

Jennifer's Body (*)

2009-09-22T22:20:00.007-05:00

Jennifer's Body. 102 mins. R. Directed by Karyn Kusama. Written by Diablo Cody. Starring Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, and Adam Brody.

Talk about a sophmore slump. Expectations were high for Diablo Cody's follow-up to Juno, but Jennifer's Body is DOA. It's a complete misfire from start to finish - almost nothing works. Having read some interviews with Cody, it's clear she was aiming for a horror comedy in the vein of Heathers, but Jennifer's Body doesn't even come close. It's neither funny, nor scary. Yes, there is some gore and plenty of blood to go around, but the tone of the movie as well as the direction by Girlfight director Karyn Kusama is a chaotic mess. Megan Fox plays Jennifer, the hottie popular girl in high school who, after a tragic run-in with a satanic emo band (yes, you read that right), turns into a demon and starts eating every boy she can. This doesn't sit well with best friend Needy (Big Love's Amanda Seyfried, whose talent is wasted here), especially when Jennifer targets Needy's boyfriend. Catfight alert! I really wanted to like this movie, but quickly grew impatient with the lack of competence and Megan Fox's "acting." She sucks, and so does the movie. Despite its pedigree, Jennifer's Body is nowhere near as clever as it thinks it is, and fails to achieve even it's modest feminist horror comedy aspirations. At 102 minutes, it feels much longer than it actually is. If you're looking for a fun scare flick, you'd be better off skipping Jennifer's Body and going to see Sorority Row instead.

- John

Sorority Row (***)

2009-09-22T22:20:00.005-05:00

Sorority Row. 100 mins. R. Directed by Stewart Hendler. Written by Josh Stolberg & Pete Goldfinger. Starring Leah Pipes, Briana Evigan, Margo Harshman, Rumer Willis, and Carrie Fisher.

Sorority Row is enjoyable trash. It's a surprisingly effective guilty pleasure horror movie that delivers what it needs to, no more, no less. A loose remake of The House on Sorority Row, this new film concerns a group of supposedly tight-knit sorority sisters who devise a prank that goes horribly wrong and results in murder. To avoid ruining the rest of their oh-so-promising lives, the sisters cover it up and swear each other to secrecy. 8 months later, on the eve of graduation, their past catches up with them as there's a killer on the loose who is targeting each of them. Is it the girl they accidentally killed? Her sister? A boyfriend? The possibilities are endless and purposefully kept vague. The joys to be had here are not in finding out who's the killer (lame), but in the bitchy-silly dialogue and the well-staged scare scenes that achieve a decent amount of tension. The acting is horrible, but director Stewart Hendler certainly does his job, particularly with an impressive opening one-take party sequence that recalls the beginning of Boogie Nights. There is nothing new in Sorority Row - it's basically just another version of I Know What You Did Last Summer - but it's a fun flick and recommended for Friday night viewings.

- John

9 (***)

2009-09-22T22:19:00.003-05:00

9. 89 mins. PG-13. Directed by Shane Acker. Written by Pamela Pettler. Starring the voices of Elijah Wood, Jennifer Connelly, John C. Reilly, Martin Landau, and Christopher Plummer.

9 is a decidedly adult animated movie that, though thrilling to look at sometimes, is hampered by a bare-bones story and lazy voice work from the actors. It tells the tale of a post-apocalyptic future, where mechanical burlap sack creations are left to fend for themselves against evil robots. The human race is extinct and all hope is lost. When the main character, 9, finds a mysterious bottle cap and sets off a whole new wave of evil robots, it's up to him and his other lower-numbered burlap sack buddies to stay alive and bring the robots down. The movie is based on a short animated film from director Shane Acker, and though I haven't seen it, I understand that there is no dialogue in the short. I think the movie would have been better served by the same tactic. The dialogue here is clunky and only serves to distract from some amazing visuals. I like the world Acker and his crew have created, and the movie's tone strikes appropriate notes of darkness and depression. Overall, I appreciated the imagination that went into making 9, even though I wasn't totally enamored by the end result.

- John

Extract (***)

2009-09-06T18:48:00.005-05:00

Extract. 89 mins. R. Written and Directed by Mike Judge. Starring Jason Bateman, Mila Kunis, Kristen Wiig, J.K. Simmons, and Ben Affleck.

Even if you went into Extract not knowing anything about it, you'd be able to tell pretty much right away that it's a Mike Judge film. The writer-director of box office bombs/cult hits Office Space and Idiocracy is back with another comedy set in the workplace, and he has such a distinct, refreshing style of comedy that his personal touch is instantly recognizable. Extract is by no means a classic; it's a minor movie - aims low and generally succeeds. In baseball terms, it'd be a single. There are a handful of truly laugh-out-loud moments (I counted five), but those moments are worth it. The plot is almost like something out of a Coen Brothers movie - a freak accident at the extract factory run by Jason Bateman's character, Joel, sets off a chain of events, most of which involve Bateman's attempt to have a young gigolo seduce his wife (Kristen Wiig) so he won't feel guilty about trying to sleep with the new employee at the factory (Mila Kunis). 90210's Dustin Milligan is a hoot as the gigolo, as is Ben Affleck as Joel's dazed and confused friend. Bateman is the perfect straight man for this kind of movie, and anchors it nicely with his second-to-none deadpan delivery. Seriously, can he just be in every movie? I just saw Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, and he even makes that turd watchable. But, make no mistake, this is Mike Judge's movie all the way, and that's a good thing. Extract is not as good as Office Space, and I'm not sure I liked it as much as Idiocracy, but it's a solid, low-key comedy that deserves a wide audience - if only so that Judge can continue making movies. The comedy world needs him.

- John

Shorts (**)

2009-08-30T07:36:00.004-05:00

Shorts. PG. Written and Directed by Robert Rodriguez. Starring Jimmy Bennett, James Spader, William H. Macy, Jon Cryer, Leslie Mann, and Kat Dennings.

After teaming up for Death Proof, Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino have obviously taken completely different career trajectories. Shorts was released on the same day as Quentin's latest masterpiece, Inglourious Basterds, and to say that Shorts falls far short of masterful is to be kind. Like other Rodriguez productions (particularly Spy Kids and The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl), this is a homegrown kids flick with Rodriguez doing every task behind the camera and using his kids to fill in any gaps in the cast. The movie jumps around in time, and breaks its story up into little vignettes, or shorts, all centered around a magical colored rock that grants every wish of the person holding it. The adults in the movie are all throwaway characters, and despite being portrayed by talented actors (William H. Macy, Leslie Mann, James Spader), Rodriguez couldn't really care less about them and leaves them stranded, overacting up a storm to stay afloat. Shorts is silly and scatter-brained, and should prove a decent diversion for kids on DVD, but it's not a very good movie, and given Rodriguez' bountiful, but still largely untapped, potential behind the camera, one wishes he would put these childish projects away, or at least just serve as a producer on them.

-John

The Final Destination (); Halloween II ()

2009-08-29T00:29:00.010-05:00

The Final Destination 3D. 82 mins. R. Directed by David R. Ellis. Written by Eric Bress. Starring Bobby Campo, Shantel VanSanten, Nick Zano, Haley Webb, and Mykelti Williamson.

Until now, I've been a fan of the Final Destination series. Not so much horror movies as they are grotesque comedies, the first three films offered true guilty pleasures. The highway sequence at the beginning of Final Destination 2 is a particular standout in the series, and if you've never seen it, I would recommend checking it out, even if you are not a fan of horror. But this new one should be avoided at all costs. Eschewing the "4" in its title, and going the "Fast and Furious" route, The Final Destination is the nail in the coffin of the series. It is a creatively bankrupt entry, with one thing to offer audiences: death in 3D and even then, the 3D is far from impressive. My Bloody Valentine from earlier this year utilized the technique to much better effect. The only thing that distinguishes this new Final Destination from the others is the race track sequence that opens the film. Otherwise, the plot is the same: a group of folks escape death at the beginning of the movie, and are later picked off one by one in intricate, insane ways. The first movie featured Ali Larter and Sean William Scott, among others, but as the series has progressed, the cast has turned to mostly unknowns, and this latest cast is probably the least talented of all. It's almost as if all the good young actors have been taken, and we're now stuck with the leftover crap. Same goes for the unimaginative death sequences - none fail to register and they are saddled with terrible special effects that scream CGI just so the filmmakers can do something with the 3D technology. The end is particularly egregious, where three big deaths are shown using CGI X-ray skeletons rather than actual actors and practical effects. Did they just run out of money at that point? Hard to say, but it's doubtful that you'll stick around long enough to care. After all, having seen this, you've just wasted your own money.

Halloween II. 105 mins. Written and Directed by Rob Zombie. Starring Scout Taylor-Compton, Sherri Moon Zombie, Brad Dourif, Tyler Mane, and Malcom McDowell.

After sitting through the idiotic The Final Destination, I went straight into Halloween II, hoping for a real horror movie. At first, it appears Rob Zombie might have delivered. Halloween II jars its audience into shock with gory images of the damage inflicted on several of Michael Myers' victims from the previous outing. But Zombie doesn't have anything to offer after that aside from some brutal repeated stabbings, all rendered in bone-crunchingly detailed sound. Zombie is a semi-talented director, and I think he has a great movie in him somewhere, but this sure isn't it. Halloween II is as ugly, unpleasant, and downright repellant as movies get. None of the characters are likeable - particularly the actress who has taken over the Jaime Lee Curtis role (Scout Tyler-Compton). Compton is so annoying and screechy in the role that you just wish Myers would kill her and get it over with. But no, she's the one who has to live through the whole thing. Remember when Drag Me to Hell proved that horror movies could be fun again? Halloween II is the antithesis of that. It is not fun. Nor is it scary, exciting, or interesting. Zombie tries to throw in some psychological elements - a dreamy white horse(!) - but it doesn't add anything to the movie. Halloween II (the ninth in the series) is utterly pointless and unnecessary. I didn't think it could get worse than The Final Destination that night. I was wrong.

-John

Inglourious Basterds (*****)

2009-08-21T22:51:00.007-05:00

Inglourious Basterds. 152 mins. R. Written and Directed by Quentin Tarantino. Starring Brad Pitt, Christoph Waltz, Diane Krueger, Eli Roth, and Mike Myers.

Coming off the mixed bag that was Death Proof, Quentin Tarantino is back in fine form with Inglourious Basterds, his best film since Pulp Fiction. Basterds is his war epic, and for better or worse, it's a Tarantino movie through and through. This thing has his imprint all over it. All the signature moves are there - the spaghetti western music, the foot fetishism, Samuel L. Jackson, and more. But he uses all of that to stylish effect and couples it with a stellar script full of intense, crackling dialogue, and two roles for women that stand out among all the brute violence and dark humor. Basterds resonates on several different levels, and for those expecting just another Dirty Dozen-type "men on a mission" flick, you're in for a treat because Basterds, among its many attributes, certainly doesn't play by any of the war movie rules.

In fact, much of the movie is not even devoted to the Basterds - a Jewish-American group of soldiers captained by non-Jew Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt, at his loose comedic best) and out to kill as many Nazis as possible. Like many of his other movies, Tarantino splits the story into chapters, alternating the focus on different characters and then bringing everything together in the end. In fact, the real star of the movie here is French actress Melanie Laurent, who plays Shosanna Dreyfus, a French-Jewish girl who, at the beginning of the movie, narrowly escapes death at the hands of the "Jew Hunter" (the Oscar-bound Christoph Waltz) and later turns up as the owner of an ornate movie palace that figures prominently in the end. There are other storylines, and part of the thrill of the film, and Tarantino's genius, is that he takes you from one story to another and makes each one so enthralling that you don't want to leave. Each time he cuts to a different chapter, you're initially disappointed because what you had just seen was so enjoyable, but as each chapter unfolds, the story captivates and draws you in completely.

There are scenes in this movie that are instant classics. The beginning showdown between a French Farmer and the "Jew Hunter" is funny and intense, and a virtual master class on dialogue and character. The initial scene in the woods where the Basterds interrogate some Nazi prisoners is a comedic highlight. Another great scene takes place in a basement bar and results in an explosion of unexpected violence. The movie runs nearly three hours with previews, and many of these scenes are long, slow-burns that are drawn out to the point of breaking. But they don't.

Inglourious Basterds is by no means flawless. When Tarantino lets his freak flag fly at the end and rewrites history in one fell swoop, many may jump off the bandwagon. But I found it refreshing - there are so many movies these days that go to extremes to get every period detail right. Tarantino's ambitions are much more crowd-pleasing. Imagine Valkyrie but with a happy Hollywood ending. Basterds is a kitchen sink-type movie (Tarantino throws everything in that he can), but it works. Audiences will quickly find themselves in the hands of a defining filmmaker who creates entertaining Cinema (with a capital "C"). At times funny, horrifying, and heartbreaking, with excellent performances from Pitt, Laurent, Waltz (as one of the great movie villains), and even Diane Kruger, Basterds is easily on the short list for best movie of the year. Highly recommended.

-John

The Time Traveler's Wife (***)

2009-08-19T22:07:00.004-05:00

The Time Traveler's Wife. 104 mins. PG-13. Directed by Robert Schwentke. Written by Bruce Joel Rubin. Starring Rachel McAdams, Eric Bana, Ron Livingston, and Stephen Tobolowski.

The preview for the film adaptation of The Time Traveler's Wife looked pretty good. A weepy tearjerker aimed straight at the female demographic, sure, but an interesting one. Then came the reviews, which were all mostly negative. I had my doubts about the movie, but I'm happy to report that the final product is more in line with the promise of the preview than with the bad reviews. I haven't read the book by Audrey Niffenegger, but I bet it's a good read. The plot of The Time Traveler's Wife is like a Nicholas Sparks novel. Only cooler. Bana plays Henry, a man inflicted with some sort of time traveling symptom that makes him travel backwards and forwards in time without any control. He wakes up naked in different locations each time, on the run from people and frantically searching for clothes. The movie takes this premise, and adds a love story to it. How does a relationship work with a man who can disappear at any time and be gone for weeks with no indication of when he'll be back? That's the question posed here, and thankfully, we've got the exceptionally talented Rachel McAdams (as Claire) to answer it. I actually found the concept fairly romantic, and when the inevitable sad ending arrives, there's a definite impact that these kinds of movies usually lack. Yes, I'm talking to you, Message in a Bottle and Nights in Rodanthe. Is The Time Traveler's Wife sappy? Yes. Is it corny? Yes. Is the time travel concept non-sensical and preposterous? Oh yeah. But the movie works despite all this. Bana and McAdams are in fine form, and audiences looking for a serious romance could do a lot worse. Cough, Nights in Rodanthe, Cough, Cough.

-John

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (**)

2009-08-15T07:24:00.003-05:00

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard. 89 mins. R. Directed by Neal Brennan. Written by Andy Stock & Rick Stempson. Starring Jeremy Piven, James Brolin, David Koechner, Ving Rhames, Kathryn Hahn, and Ed Helms.

On the surface The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard has the "goods." The cast is chock full of funny actors, it's produced by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay, and it's directed by The Chappelle Show's Neal Brennan. Check, check, and check. But like many of the cars sold in the film, The Goods is a lemon. It strives to be outrageous and completely off-the-wall in its style of comedy, but it just comes across as random and forced. There are a few laughs here and there (mostly from Ving Rhames, who's excellent), but most of the gags fall flat. Too bad - the cast is game and you can tell that everyone thought they were making comedy gold, but something got lost in translation between filming on set and the end result on screen. It might not make for a bad rental though, especially if you're in the mood for a brainless, kooky comedy, with characters who behave stupidly in an almost unrelenting manner.

-John

District 9 (****1/2)

2009-08-15T07:17:00.005-05:00

District 9. 112 mins. R. Directed by Neill Blomkamp. Written by Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell. Starring Sharlto Copely, Jason Cope, Nathalie Boltt, and William Alan Young.

District 9 is a rarity in movies today. Hugely successful at the box office upon its release, the movie flew under the radar for months, had a budget of only $30 million, and was directed by an untested 29 year-old who unsuccessfully attempted to bring Microsoft's Halo video game to the big screen. But here's the thing: District 9 offers more bang for the buck, more candy for the eye, and more food for the brain than every other studio blockbuster (save Star Trek) that's been released this summer. Part City of God, part Independence Day, District 9 is an assured feature debut for Blomkamp, and a welcome shot in the arm to the sci-fi genre. There's real content here, and it makes you think, but the most impressive thing about the movie is that it does all that without ever once failing to entertain and deliver the goods. With Peter Jackson producing, District 9 certainly knows how to kick ass when push comes to shove, and in the film's final half-hour, the action on screen has a "wow" factor of about 10. A riff on Blomkomp's South African upbringing and apartheid issues, District 9 takes a pseudo-documentary approach to its story about aliens living in shacks on the outskirts of town after their spaceship stalls over Johannesburg some 20 years ago. Called District 9, the area is policed by a government unit called MNU, and as the movie begins, MNU agent Wikus Van d Merwe (first-time actor, Sharlto Copely) has been tasked with evicting the aliens from District 9 and moving them to fenced-off camps further away from the city. When Wikus is exposed to alien substance, all hell breaks loose as he begins to change into one of the aliens and is hunted by the military and Nigerian slumlords who want to use him to operate alien weapons, which only work in the hands of the aliens. Sounds crazy? Sure - this is science fiction after all, but District 9 works because it grounds the sci-fi ideas in reality and consistently operates on a plane of believability, as if this how things would really happen. The movie approaches instant classic status, but is docked a few points for inconsistency: it drops its documentary style midway through in favor of a straight-up narrative, and then goes back to documentary mode at random times. Still, that's a minor hiccup in an otherwise thrilling moviegoing experience. Bring on District 10.

-John

Julie & Julia (****)

2009-08-09T09:19:00.005-05:00

Julie & Julia. 123 mins. PG-13. Written and Directed by Nora Ephron. Starring Meryl Streep, Amy Adams, Stanley Tucci, Chris Messina, and Jane Lynch.

Arriving in theaters in late August, and targeting the ever-underserved demographic of adult women, Julie & Julie does a fine job of extending Meryl Streep's hot streak and giving audiences a refreshing, totally enjoyable diversion. Streep is fantastic as Julia Child, nailing the accent and giving a full-bodied performance without ever stooping to caricature. Adams is equally good as Julie Powell, a modern-day blogger who takes it upon herself to cook all 524 recipes of Julia Child's french cooking book in one year. The movie jumps back and forth between the two stories - Child in 1949 France; Powell in 2002-03 New York, and writer-director Nora Ephron does a good job of keeping things moving along, never staying on either story for too long. Streep's portion of the movie is probably the more interesting, if only because she's so darn good as Child and makes her such an engaging screen character. Because Julie and Julia never met in real life, the ending lacks a satisfying wrap-up and too often, the movie strains to put these two characters in parallel situations. But it's hard to complain too much when there's so much delicious food on screen. You'll leave the theater hungry, wanting to go home and break out a bottle of wine - that's what I did anyway. The wine was delicious, and so is this movie. If you think it's just a chick flick, think again.

-John

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (**1/2)

2009-08-09T09:17:00.005-05:00

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. 118 mins. PG-13. Directed by Stephen Sommers. Written by Stuart Beattie and David Elliot. Starring Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Sienna Miller, Rachel Nichols, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Dennis Quaid.

G.I. Joe is the last of summer's big action blockbusters, and if you weren't already exhausted by sitting through Transformers, Pelham 123, and Wolverine, you will after seeing this. Loud, dumb, and frantic, G.I. Joe is a movie with the attention span of a 10-year-old boy, and with good reason, it's aimed squarely at that segment of the moviegoing public. Never one for subtlety, Van Helsing's Stephen Sommers is in the director's chair after a five-year absence, and though he was given a huge budget (a reported $175 million), you can't really tell. The special effects are terrible and look like a draft rendering, rather than the final product. The acting is atrocious, even by esteemed industry vets like Dennis Quaid. You know you're in trouble when Marlon Wayans gives one of the better performances in the movie. Hell, even (500) Days of Summer's usually reliable Joseph Gordon-Levitt is bad. The plot is beside the point - this is a movie designed to sell toys. With that in mind, it's somewhat successful. 10-year-old boys will love it, and will certainly want to rush out and buy a Duke action figure. I didn't quite get there, but I did appreciate the middle action sequence set in Paris, where Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Wayans) are running around the city in these super-duper suits that make them run 100mph, jump high, and do all sorts of other cool stuff. G.I. Joe is fast-paced and action-packed, but it's just too silly and frantic for it's own good, as if slowing things down for a second would somehow reveal all the movie's inadequacies, even though they're fairly evident anyway. In fact, G.I. Joe is the very definition of empty calories: Sommers and company stuff a lot of things down your throat, and you're left feeling full, fed-up, and not at all satisfied. Between this and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Hasbro has made a lot of money this summer, but I'd be pretty happy never seeing their logo in front of a movie again.

-John

The Ugly Truth (**)

2009-08-03T23:08:00.005-05:00

The Ugly Truth. 95 mins. R. Directed by Robert Luketic. Written by Nicole Eastman and Karen McCullah Lutz & Kirsten Smith. Starring Katherine Heigl, Gerard Butler, Eric Winter, John Michael Higgins, and Cheryl Hines.

The Ugly Truth is about as fresh as a high school production of Rob Becker's Defending the Caveman. It is yet another lame studio romantic comedy, with an unbelievable plot and lame jokes. Even more insulting, the movie is rated "R", but it's the most half-assed "R" I've ever seen (or maybe I'm still reeling from Bruno's abuse of the rating). I say, if you're going to go for the "R" rating, then go for it - see The 40 Year-Old Virgin, Superbad, or any other Apatow production.

Heigl stars as Abby, an uptight, professional television news producer who has almost no love life to speak of. Butler is Mike, a public access, Loveline-type commentator, who prides himself on speaking "the ugly truth" about women, dating, and relationships. When Mike is picked up as a guest commentator for Abby's news program, the two immediately butt heads, but soon bond when Mike agrees to help Abby woo her new doctor neighbor. What follows is a soggy stream of sex jokes, with the centerpiece being an indirect ripoff of the When Harry Met Sally orgasm scene. This time though, it's Heigl wearing vibrating underwear to dinner, and when she loses the remote and a little kid picks it up to play with it, she starts to enjoy dinner, ahem, a little too much. Are you laughing yet?

The Ugly Truth is not a chore to sit through, it's just pointless and stupid. The movie asks us to believe that Mike's commentary would somehow connect with audiences and cause viewership to substantially increase, even though the advice he offers is insulting and unoriginal, and basically boils down to, "All guys think about is sex." Watching The Ugly Truth is like playing an unsubtle game of "Battle of the Sexes," but with none of the fun. Heigl continues to be a likeable leading lady (though I could have done without all the happy dancing she does here), and Butler does what he can, juggling stupid lines and a growly American accent. One can't help but watch this though and think back to all the controversy Heigl caused when taking Knocked Up to task for having underdeveloped female characters. Okay, fine, but THIS is okay?

-John

Funny People (***1/2)

2009-08-02T13:53:00.003-05:00

Funny People. 160 mins. R. Written and Directed by Judd Apatow. Starring Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Jonah Hill, Jason Schwartzman, and Eric Bana.

Make no mistake - Funny People lives up to it's title. It is a very funny movie, and with Judd Apatow sitting in the director's chair for only the third time, that should really come as no surprise. But it's also way too long, clocking in at an indecent two hours and forty minutes. And despite a game performance from Adam Sandler (who has never been better), and strong supporting work from Seth Rogen and Eric Bana, the movie never achieves greatness due to an unfocused script, half-hearted drama, and character arcs that leave a lot to be desired.

All that being said, I really liked Funny People on the whole. I love Apatow as a writer-director, and admire what he's attempting to do here. He's said in the press that Funny People is his "James L. Brooks" movie. Brooks is the writer, director, and/or producer of such classic films as Terms of Endearment, As Good As It Gets, and Broadcast News. All do a nice job of balancing comedy and drama, and are full of rich characters and insightful human drama. Funny People wants to be as good as those films, but Apatow doesn't quite get there. One hates to tell him how to write, but he certainly could have used a couple more rewrites here.

Sandler plays a close-to-home character named George Simmons. George is a comedic actor on the decline who returns to doing stand-up after he's diagnosed with a potentially life-threatening blood disease. It's on the stand-up circuit that he meets Ira (Rogen), a fresh-faced, insecure comic struggling to make a name for himself. George asks Ira to write some material for him, and it's not long before Ira is keeping George company as he goes to bed and accompanying George on his doctor visits. George ultimately tries to win his old girlfriend back (Leslie Mann), the one who got away and is now married with kids. The movie poses the question: what would you do with your life if you thought you were going to do and then you didn't? According to Funny People, you don't really change all that much. And while that may be true in real life, it doesn't exactly make for a fulfilling movie.

That's a shame too because Sandler starts off, and the script supplies him with, an Oscar-caliber performance. George is not the most likeable of guys, and Sandler hits all the right notes. If the character of George had actually been given a complete character arc, we might actually be talking Oscar for real instead of just merely saying that Sandler has never been better.

In fact, Funny People moves along swimmingly until an extended segment at Leslie Mann's house, where the movie just stops to a crawl and meanders for another hour or so, with nothing all that important happening. There are still some funny bits in there, but it's this segment of the movie that really drags things on for too long and wears the audience's patience thin.

The lack of compelling drama does not detract from the comedy. There's a ton of great stuff here - most of it centered around penis jokes - and when Apatow just lets his stars riff, the movie is a joy to watch. I especially liked the scene where Ira makes George an iPod playlist and the two spar back and forth over the song selection. The stand-up sequences are well done, and if I was giving a grade for pop culture jokes alone, Funny People would easily get an "A." I am recommending Funny People, and encourage you to see it, but it does not live up to its potential, and is not as satisfying as The 40 Year-Old Virgin or Knocked Up.

-John

G-Force (**1/2)

2009-08-01T16:33:00.006-05:00

G-Force. 90 mins. PG. Directed by Hoyt Yeatman. Written by the Wibberleys. Starring Zach Galifianakis, Will Arnett, Bill Nighy and the voices of Sam Rockwell, Penelope Cruz, Tracy Morgan, and Nicolas Cage.

As far as kids' films go, parents could do a lot worse than G-Force. Yes, there are numerous fart jokes, and yes, the script is full of bad animal puns, but thanks to uber-producer Jerry Bruckheimer, there's a lot of action and a slick sheen to it all that makes it, talking guinea pigs excluded, a somewhat bad-ass kids' flick. Heck, it has to be better than Ice Age 3. The voice cast is solid enough: Sam Rockwell, Nicolas Cage, Tracy Morgan, and Penelope Cruz, but nobody is given anything funny to say, and the script is nonsensical and witless, with lines like, "This is off the hizook!", just reeking of faux hipness. The movie is blessedly short, and the end action sequences are impressive in their scope and special effects, but for every thing the movie gets right, it gets about 20 things wrong. The soundtrack is oddly obsessed with the Black Eyed Peas, and incorporates bits and pieces of this summer's hit songs, "Boom Boom Pow" and "I Gotta Feeling" into every other scene. It casts brilliant, rising comedic stars Zach Galifianakis (last seen running away with The Hangover) and Will Arnett (Gob, 'nuff said) in live action roles, and then completely wastes them. And then there's that whole talking guinea pig thing, which when you think about it is just dumb. To close this on a personal note, I took my one-year-old son to G-Force for his first movie - he made it through about an hour and then started getting fidgety. Still, not too shabby. The boy's got some Hammervision in his DNA, that's for sure.

-John